4 Unexpected Ways Your Husband Wants to Make You Happy

Yes, your husband does want to make you happy!

You may have just read that title and thought “Courtney what are you talking about? You don’t know my husband, all he wants to do is irritate me.” Yes, I don’t know your specific situation, but I do know that if we change how we perceive our circumstances it can affect our relationships profoundly.

4 Unexpected Ways Your Husband Wants to Make You Happy

My husband isn’t perfect either. He leaves his dirty clothes on the floor even though the hamper is positioned for his exclusive convenience. Sometimes he makes annoying comments or is on his phone too much. We all have our quirks and no one is perfect. I do a lot of things that he doesn’t like either. This is expected in marriage because we tend to marry our opposites in terms of personality. Which research suggests is not a negative but rather having the same attitudes and values has a bigger impact on relational success.

Back to happiness and our husbands, if we look at the big picture of our relationship most of the time our husband’s goal is to make us happy. This was kind of an epiphany when I discovered this because it changed the way I saw my husband’s overall behaviour. As a result, I started seeing his actions as more favourable towards me.

His Career Choices

Career changes and choices can be a touchy subject, especially when it involves moving. If you can openly talk as a couple about how each of you feels and why you feel this way it can lead to a depth of understanding. In the beginning, it may feel like your husband is not on your side and wants to change everything. In the end, you realize these decisions are not easy for him either and the ultimate reason why he’s choosing this is to provide the best life he can for your family.

Honestly, as a female whose role is not to be the provider but rather the helper and support to her husband I will never understand the great burden my husband bears in his effort to provide. With this perspective, I can display more empathy in how I relate to my husband when he wants to pursue a new or different job. I realize his motive behind his choice is far from selfish.

For some, your husband’s work may look different. Perhaps he works long hours or even two jobs. I remember when I was younger my dad ran his own business during the day as an onsite truck mechanic and exhaust fabricator then at night he drove a septic truck. I would cry because I hardly ever saw my dad. Thankfully that time was only for a season and he was able to switch jobs. He chose to work that much because he had a family to care for and he was trying his best to give us a secure and happy life. At the time it wasn’t easy for us but looking back I can see his motivation was in the right place.

The Small Things

Career choices and changes are certainly a major area where males strive to make their wives and families happy. Husbands also try to provide happiness in smaller things. For example, maybe your husband surprises you with a large tea at 6 in the morning because he was thinking of you. The timing wasn’t ideal and he woke you up, but his intention was to make your day and show he cares about you.

If we can reframe how we perceive this interaction and affirm our husband’s intentions instead of tearing down their sometimes fragile self-esteem. We can encourage them to keep doing nice, thoughtful things for us (isn’t that what we all want?).

Whereas if we react in a negative or condescending way that takes aim at his pride he is likely to feel insulted and less motivated to repeat a behaviour meant to please you. Even if you didn’t want to have tea at 6 am it’s still important to genuinely thank your husband for thinking of you and being so sweet.

Treating You

Another way husbands try to make us happy is by treating us. One way they demonstrate this is by taking us out to dinner. Although I’m perfectly happy making food at home, I really appreciate it when my husband suggests we go out for dinner. I realize this is a rare treat and he wants to make our time together extra special.

Furthermore, husbands want to see their wives well dressed, with nice makeup and hair. At times the level of aesthetic desired by the wife isn’t always feasible. For example getting your hair done every six weeks or your nails. Sometimes though your hubby may spend some extra money and take you shopping. It might make the budget a little tight but to him seeing you smile is worth it.

As wives when our husbands make this extra effort to treat us it is so important we express how much we appreciate it. For him spending money, might put on more pressure to provide and if we are ungrateful he might think “what’s the point of doing nice things for her?”.

When He Gives in to You

This one may seem a little more obvious, nonetheless, it’s important to recognize that when your husband purposely chooses to put your preferences over his he is doing it to demonstrate his love and to see you happy.

A few ways my husband has demonstrated this is by going to see Beauty and the Beast with me, ordering pizza when I didn’t feel like cooking, giving me 20-second hugs (he knows that’s my love language even if it isn’t always his), letting me choose the restaurant. I know these are small examples but it’s really the insignificant things that add up to make a fulfilling relationship.


You may have heard the phrase that “Marriage wasn’t designed to make us happy but to make us holy”, while I agree with the overall sentiment of that statement. I do think God intended for us to receive great joy in being in a relationship with others. Happiness can be defined in different ways as I noted above. It can be a self-sacrificing gesture, a desire to make someone smile or to simply the daily effort put into a relationship. Overall if we can remember that our husband desires to see us happy we can avoid a lot of negative and unfounded thoughts.

What are some ways your husband tries to make you happy?

Being Married Young is Hard Newlywed Reflections~Month 9

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

Blogging is a platform to share one’s story. Over the past 9 months, I’ve been sharing snippets from my experiences being married. Although being married brings a lot of wonderful times, the last few months as I’ve shared have been hard.

At times I find it difficult to stay positive and feel hopeful for the future. Maybe you’re married and you’ve found yourself in a similar situation. It seems that for other people life is looking up, but for you, things almost seem to be getting worse.

Continue reading “Being Married Young is Hard Newlywed Reflections~Month 9”

The Only Good Thing Newlywed Reflections~Month 8

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” Psalm 16:2

Sometimes it feels like life won’t stop throwing snowballs at you. I know that sounds like a terrible analogy but it’s winter and we’re going to roll with it. I think we can all relate to feeling discouraged and overwhelmed at times with our circumstances. Too often I focus on the negatives in my life. I don’t want to do that here. Instead, I want to share how I cope with the less than ideal parts of life.

Continue reading “The Only Good Thing Newlywed Reflections~Month 8”

Thoughts on Singleness: How I Conquered Feeling Lonely, Unwanted and Not Good Enough

I write a lot on this blog of marriage and my experiences being married. I write about this topic because it’s relevant to my life at this point. However, before this current season, I spent a lot of time being single.

I’ve written a few posts about those days: Just Wait, When Everyone Else is Getting Engaged and Encouragement for Single Women. Although those were not the most favourite times in my life, they were necessary.

One lesson I learned was to be content on my own.

Continue reading “Thoughts on Singleness: How I Conquered Feeling Lonely, Unwanted and Not Good Enough”

5 Traits I’m Glad I Didn’t Settle on in my Husband Newlywed Reflections~Month 7

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

The last month has not been fun. Between the end of the semester deadlines and ongoing car trouble, I’ve been struggling to not feel overwhelmed and stressed. At the same time, I’m incredibly grateful to our family for helping my husband and me over the past month. Even as an adult I still need my parents sometimes <3

Although the last month has been challenging emotionally, mentally and physically I’m so thankful I have the husband I do. God blessed me with an incredible guy

Continue reading “5 Traits I’m Glad I Didn’t Settle on in my Husband Newlywed Reflections~Month 7”

5 Ways to make Christmas more Meaningful

Christmas is a wonderful time of year but sometimes the commercialization of the Holiday can overwhelm the actual celebration. A few years ago I got tired of all the presents, pressure and performance associated with Christmas. I even tried convincing my family to take a cruise instead of spending another year being surrounded by artificial evergreens and not enough presents.

We ended up staying around for the holidays and I’m really glad we did because I met my husband, but more importantly, I reframed how I viewed the Christmas season.

Continue reading “5 Ways to make Christmas more Meaningful”