Letting Go of Unmet Expectations in Marriage

A lot of the time life can feel unfair. Part of this feeling comes from expectations being unmet. I certainly expected my present circumstances to be different. I thought I’d work before having a baby, that I’d be in my own home, that I’d live near my family and friends. However, that’s not how life turned out. At times I feel jaded, sad and to be honest angry. I want control of my life.

Lately, I’ve been wrestling with this idea of control over my life. It doesn’t seem fair at times that my expectations of my current reality are unmet. I want to call the shots and know where my future is headed.

Instead of trusting in God’s timing.

Instead of submitting to my husband’s leadership over our family.

Instead of dying to self daily. 

I don’t want to give more grace or forgiveness or understanding or kindness than is being shown to me in return. When as a Christ follower that is exactly what I’m supposed to do. I’m supposed to follow Jesus example and be kind and tenderhearted and forgiving to those who mock me or treat me wrong. Yet my flesh fights so hard against what I know the spirit wants me to do. Consequently, I often give into the flesh because it’s easy and I’m tired.

My dissatisfaction with certain aspects of my life spiral into a cycle of being miserable. If I’m not happy my thinking is why should the people around me be happy too (the people that I care about and love most). Therefore I’m going to complain, nag and not be as grateful as I should. In my sinful and selfish heart, I want to make it known how I feel.

The common thread here is “I”. Being that I’m married and it’s no longer just “I” but two people striving to be one, I can’t continue living my life through a single self-centred lense.

Yes, it’s not fair that I can’t sleep through the night because I have to feed our precious baby from my healthy and fully functional body. It’s also not fair that my husband has to shoulder all of the financial burdens of our family. I’m only giving one simple example of how our life together isn’t always fair in our share of duties, I could go on. Trust me I’m pretty good at keeping a list of how unequal our contributions are (at least that how it feels sometimes).

I always thought I’d be that wife that wouldn’t mind giving more than I’m getting in return. In reality, I’m actually pretty selfish and would rather be served than serve. At the core of dying to self is serving others. True service like Jesus demonstrated is done out of love without an expectation of receiving anything back in return. Often I want recognition, praise or a returned favour. To me, that’s fair-to give and then get. However, that’s not what I’m called to do.

Perhaps so much of my unsatisfaction which stems from unmet expectations could become obsolete if instead, I decided to truly serve without expectation. If I’m only living for the praise of men I’ll have received my reward here instead of a true reward from God.

Too often I’m focused on earthly things, the day to day minutiae instead of an eternal perspective. Where the annoyances that seem so monumental are less irrelevant than they seem and perhaps they are meant to sanctify me. If life was easy and fun and comfortable I wouldn’t need to change anything or question how I could improve. It’s beneficial to me in light of eternity and becoming more like Jesus to undergo unfavourable circumstances.

I want to resolve to have a changed perspective during 2018. I want to remember that “hard is not the same thing as bad”, to die to self as I serve my family and to live for the praise of my heavenly Father over the temporal praise of men.


Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Galations 1:10

I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Galations 2:20

Letting Go of Unmet Expectations in Marriage | Courtney Kramer

The Only Good Thing Newlywed Reflections~Month 8

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” Psalm 16:2

Sometimes it feels like life won’t stop throwing snowballs at you. I know that sounds like a terrible analogy but it’s winter and we’re going to roll with it. I think we can all relate to feeling discouraged and overwhelmed at times with our circumstances. Too often I focus on the negatives in my life. I don’t want to do that here. Instead, I want to share how I cope with the less than ideal parts of life.

The Only Good Thing

At first, when dealing with a tough situation I tend to be all downer. After a while or when I have to be productive and leave the house my perspective changes. I change my focus to what I’m thankful for or what I’m glad didn’t happen. For instance, the other evening as my husband was driving home from work a wayward deer ran into his beloved red honda civic (I adore this car too). As a result, we are now down to one car. Yes, this sucks because it’s another obstacle we have to deal with at a time where we are trying to get ahead in life. I’m in school, he’s working and we don’t have a ton of extra resources to deal with these situations.

When he came home and told me what happened, I was incredibly grateful he was okay. After it all sank in though, I cried. I cried because I really like his car, we have a lot of memories with it and I like that he has something for himself that’s fun and he’s proud of. I don’t want to lose this part of our life. I also cried because we just bought a newer car for myself and now his car isn’t road worthy. It’s just hard.

Not long after this news, I had to head out to school. As I was driving and processing what had happened I realized I could either dwell on what sucked about the situation or what I was grateful for. I chose to make a list of the good:

  • Michael was completely fine, other than being shaken up
  • The deer didn’t go through his windshield, despite driving a lowered car
  • He didn’t have to wait in the cold for a tow truck
  • He didn’t have to miss work
  • He was able to drive his car home, despite losing a headlight and his lights not working
  • We can share my car and still get to school and work
  • He’s getting another car from a friend and his brother can safety it
  • Our other car is in good condition and safer to drive

I’m most grateful God spared him from further harm. The altercation could have been a lot worse. Michael explained that the deer ran straight into his car and instead of launching toward him through the windshield it flipped in the air and landed away from his car. It is so clear to me that God heard my prayers to keep Michael safe.

I’m also grateful for God’s continued provision for our lives. He always gives us just what we need, such as another car for Michael.

At the end of the day, I enjoy reading my Bible before falling asleep. The other night I came across this verse in Psalms: I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.”. This passage really resonated with me, because I’m realizing more and more each day just how temporal life is. All I really have is God and no matter what He is good. His ways may not always seem fair or right to me, but no matter what happens He loves me, He is on His throne and He is victorious.

Cars may break, jobs come and go, friends and family may be far, relationships have their struggles but what gets me through all this is knowing I have God in my life. He is the only good thing. The only perfect thing, the only thing that will last, the only thing that will never disappoint or leave me. I have to cling to these truths or else I have nothing in life.


CLICK HERE TO READ: NEWLYWED REFLECTIONS~MONTH 7: 5 Traits I’m Glad I Didn’t Settle on in my Husband

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NEWLYWED REFLECTIONS~MONTH 9: Young Marriage is Hard

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5 Traits I’m Glad I Didn’t Settle on in my Husband Newlywed Reflections~Month 7

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

The last month has not been fun. Between the end of the semester deadlines and ongoing car trouble, I’ve been struggling to not feel overwhelmed and stressed. At the same time, I’m incredibly grateful to our family for helping Mike and me over the past month. Even as an adult I still need my parents sometimes <3

Although the last month has been challenging emotionally, mentally and physically I’m so thankful I have the husband I do. God blessed me with an incredible guy

5 Traits I'm Glad I didn't Settle on in My Husband

  1. Positivity

    Mike emanates a positive attitude each day. Although he works a minimum 12 hour day and has to get up before 4am he always comes home happy to see me and with a grateful attitude for all God has provided. He doesn’t let the stress of life overwhelm him to where he can’t still make me laugh in the evenings. He chooses to accept that this is what life looks right now and he has to keep moving forward instead of complaining about how things could be different. A partner who sees life with the glass half full makes going through rough times so much more bearable. Especially when I get easily overwhelmed in all that’s going wrong.

  2. Work Ethic

    One thing I have always admired about Mike is his dedication to giving his best effort in whatever task he’s completing. Whether it’s washing the dishes, cleaning his paintball gun or fixing our cars he always does a thorough and complete job. This trait applies to more than just menial tasks, I can see it in the way he approaches our relationship and his job. Mike takes time to listen to my thoughts, to pray for us and seek wise counsel. Most importantly his work ethic enables him to be the provider God called him to be.

  3. Spiritual Leadership

    The number one thing that drew me to Michael was his sincere faith. I could tell after talking to him and spending time together that God was an integral aspect of his life. Recently I’ve seen this article floating around about pursuing a Christian man vs a Christian boy and I wholeheartedly agree! Ladies do not settle for a Christian boy. You will regret it. When things get hard, as they have been for us over the past few months, our faith has been the thing we have leaned on. Especially prayer.  Not only has our faith brought us through tough times it has brought us so close together. I remember one difficult evening where we prayed together and I felt so close and connected after bringing everything to God together. Ultimately our relationship is only earthly, our lasting relationship is with our heavenly Father.

  4. Learning from mistakes

    We are all far from perfect, I daily make mistakes and do things I regret. I accept that Michael makes mistakes and always will. What is important is seeing my husband own up to his mistakes and taking it as a learning lesson. I often have to do the same. Not only is this a humbling experience but it teaches us to forgive each other. Don’t look for a flawless person, seek a partner who acknowledges where they need to improve and are working on themselves.

  5. Authenticity

    Anyone who knows Mike knows he is not afraid to speak the truth. He will tell you like it is and you can trust his opinion. He does this because he genuinely cares about people and wants to help. He is always there for his friends or family that need him. Mike will drive an hour and a half to be with a buddy that is going through a rough time. He’s constantly building others up and encouraging their abilities. Seek a mate who is not afraid to be authentic and notice how he treats those closest to him.

Click here to read:
 Newlywed Reflections~Month 6: How I Learned to Cherish Each Moment Through Loss and Uncertainty

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Newlywed Reflections~Month 8: The Only Good Thing

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Photo: Camille Marie Photography

Favourites Friday>> Surviving Sarah Podcast

Happy FriYay!

Today’s favourite is a podcast I have been binge listening to on the drive to school and back. I absolutely cannot get enough of this podcast. I come away feeling inspired, motivated and excited each time I hear an interview with a different woman about what she is doing or has been through.

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Surviving Sarah is hosted by Sarah Bragg and each week she interviews a different woman to hear how she is surviving life. Sarah ends the interview by asking her guest a few things that are helping them to survive. She goes on to clarify that these items don’t have to be spiritual because she also enjoys other things like coffee and Target. I can totally relate to that sentiment. Following the interview, Sarah reflects on what she learned from her guest or anything that stood out from their stories.

I’ve been most impacted by the women who have families while at the same time manage a career, business, blog or ministry. One very interesting guest was Cheryl Bachelder the CEO of Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen (episode 42). I loved hearing how she leads her staff with humility and poise. Although I don’t aspire to be a CEO the insight on leadership at any level was inspiring.

Additionally, another theme I’ve gathered from listening is that we may make plans for our lives but ultimately God’s plan always prevails. For example, one woman became a single mother while being a missionary, other women have struggled with infertility, or dealt with failed adoptions or unexpected pregnancies, while other guests have struggled with issues from their past including suicide of family members or postpartum depression. In other examples, God has provided opportunities and opened doors that some women never dreamed of like being an artist, or starting a nonprofit, or designing products to help with children’s emotional intelligence. I’m learning to let go of my plans and to be open to what God has in store for me. Although I find this really hard because I thrive on predictability I trust that His plans are best for me. Hearing others women’s stories has really encouraged me in this area.

Thirdly a statement that I have heard multiple times on this podcast is to “do the next right thing”. In times of stress or feeling overwhelmed or even sad, listeners have shared how they have just done the next right thing. Whether that’s reading your child a story or making dinner, it’s about not giving up. I’ve tried to remember this phrase when I just want to quit or waste an hour on the internet. Sometimes the next right thing is cleaning off the table so I have a place to work when I get home. That one simple task helps me feel motivated to keep going with the rest of my day.

My favourite and the most impacting episode I listened to was with Mo Isom (whom I’ll be featuring in an upcoming Favourites post!) episode 34, she is full of such Biblical wisdom and real, relatable, heartbreaking life experience. I found her story very compelling to hear. I’m looking forward to reading her new book Wreck My Life: Journeying from Broken to Bold in the near future. Honestly, it’s hard to choose favourites because every episode has impacted me in some way. Episode 24 with Tracy Levinson is also another favourite, she inspired me with her boldness in expressing her views to others and how she articulated her message on sexuality. Overall my favourite thing about Surviving Sarah is that the podcast is geared toward women. Not moms, or wives or singles or working moms or stay at home moms. Just women in whatever stage of life they are in. This is what really attracted me to Sarah’s podcast. I hold the same value with my blog, I want to appeal to a broad range of readers. Although I tend to write about what I’m going through, my intent is never to put my identity in being married or a wife. Those roles are only a part of who I am. I want this blog to express who I am as a person, what my interests are and my reflections on life. Sarah has a good balance of women from various stages and life experiences on her show. It’s great to learn from women who have been married for thirty years or who are first-time mothers. Although our experiences are different we can always learn from what others have gone through.

 


I’m going to end this post similar to how Sarah ends her interviews by listing a few things that are helping me survive! I’d love to hear what’s been helping you survive lately too (:
  • Podcasts! I’ve pretty much stopped listening to radio in favour of a good long podcast
  • The too rare conversations/hangouts I have with my mom and bestie <3
  • Baths I love relaxing in the warm water and reading a book for pleasure (right now I’m reading the true story behind the Sound of Music)
  • Music! I love listening to Spotify while I’m cleaning, making supper or just hanging out. It instantly brings my mood up

 

 

 

 

 

*post contains Amazon affiliate link, all opinions my own

I Thought I’d be a Perfect Wife Newlywed Reflections~Month 2

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

I Thought I’d be a Perfect Wife…

I’m using a bit of hyperbole here, but I thought I would be a whole lot better at this wife thing. I’ve read marriage books, listened to countless Focus on the Family Podcasts, read blog after blog on all issues surrounding marriage and heard a multitude of sermons on the topic in addition to my personal study of marriage within the Bible. People encouraged me that I’d be such a great wife one day. I went into marriage with all this confidence and skill…

I Thought I'd Be A Perfect Wife

Then reality happened and at times pride got in the way of my idealist goals. At the core I expected things to be different. I know expectations are a set up for failure and dashed hopes. Alas, they are inevitable. At times I’ve felt jaded that we didn’t get more time together to do normal things like eat dinner together and chill. Other times I’ve appreciated our separation because I treasure our moments together so much more. A couple weekends ago I was driving with Mike to go get food and I was just so happy. That was our first time alone together for almost a whole week. I just missed being in his presence.

Nonetheless, this plight of mine is only reflective of a short 3.5 month season. I’m sure the next season of work and school this coming fall will bring its own challenges. In addition, I’m sure my exposure to other young married couples on social media isn’t helping my expectations. It seems that some couples spend endless amounts of time together going on spontaneous picture perfect adventures on a regular weekday. Consequently, I fall into the trap of comparison and jealousy very easily. As a result, I get down and feel unappreciative of my incredibly blessed and fortunate circumstances.

Dashed expectations regarding lack of time together are not my sole “challenge”. I thought I would be better as a wife. I know I’m only two months in, but I thought I was ready for this wife thing. Before marrying I worked on my #wifeskills like cooking, cleaning, and hosting to prepare for the domestic side of being a wife. Although I’m still figuring out how to manage a household. These proficiencies are only superficial yet beneficial skills to possess. I thought I’d be better at the relational aspects. Perhaps I shouldn’t be too hard on myself because I’ve never been married and I’ve only dated Mike. Yet, this whole relationship/partner/spouse thing has been a huge learning curve. One can learn stuff about marriage and relationships indefinitely but on a real life “living it out level” it is so. much. different. What one can’t prepare for are the dynamics of one’s relationship or the type of person one is going to be with. As it is Mike and me are different in many unexpected and delightful ways. Therefore I could only prepare for a certain level of a marriage relationship but certainly not the unique day to day challenges until I knew who I was marrying. Thankfully our pre-marriage counselling with our pastor did help tremendously to prepare for the specifics of our marriage relationship. Nonetheless, I had to experience marriage to truly understand the intricacies involved.

Pridefully, I thought I knew how to be a “perfect wife”. For example, I knew that men need respect, so make sure to affirm them. Or don’t be a nagging wife, prepare his favourite foods often, let him unwind after work, fulfill his physical needs willingly and with passion, look good for him when he comes home, communicate your needs and expectations… My brain is filled with these tidbits of advice. They are beneficial, but not always specific to my relationship. I can be checking off these boxes but neglecting real areas that I need to work on.

Overall, the biggest lesson I’ve learned this month is to take a deeper more realistic look at my life and not compare it to others. Which is soo hard!

As I was spending time with my grandparents this week who have been married for over 5o years I observed that marriage is about serving each other and going through seasons where you’re both working a lot and may not always get the luxury of unlimited quality time together. That’s okay because Lord willing you have the rest of your lives together. I want to purpose to enjoy every season God has so graciously blessed me with.

Click here to read:
 Newlywed Reflections~Month 1: What Surprised me About our First Month

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 Newlywed Reflections~Month 3: Why You Should be Willing to Love What Your Spouse Loves

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Photography: Camille Marie Photography 

What Surprised Me About our First Month of Marriage Newlywed Reflections~Month 1

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

As of June 7th, Michael and I have been married for one month!! When we were engaged time seemed to move super slow, since we’ve been married time has flown by! Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this past month and what I’ve learned, been surprised about or am grateful for. I wanted to share some early things I’ve been learning as a newlywed <3

What Surprised Me About Our First Month of Marriage

Things that surprised me:

How immediately our relationship felt different

After our reception, I was waiting for Mike to change out of his tuxedo and I felt sort of lost. I didn’t know where I belonged. I couldn’t wait with my parents because I was married and they just gave me away. I just had this feeling of separateness now that Michael is my husband. We were a new family. We belonged together. It was a strange and unexpected feeling.

On the other hand the next day it felt so normal being with Mike, yet very different at the same time. For example, we went shopping at Forever 21 except this time we were spending our money and I was with my husband. It’s such a hard feeling to explain, but our relationship just felt so solid and strong. I wasn’t just shopping with my boyfriend, I was with my husband.

Being together feels different especially around other people. I feel more confident with him by my side and less awkward.

Real life is better than the honeymoon

We had a wonderful honeymoon in Cuba, I’m so grateful we were able to get away. I miss the evenings where we would sit out on our balcony reading the Bible and our devo books together and just talking and watching Fernando the gecko. At the same time, the reality of life always looms over one’s head while on vacation. Honestly, I was really looking forward to returning home. I wanted to experience everyday life with Michael. To live in our apartment together and go shopping for our home. The first few days back after our vacation was just fun and blissful in a different way.

How much I miss him when we’re apart.

Honestly, I’m glad we’re not together all the time. I need Courtney time and he needs Mike time. At the end of the day, I’m so ready to come home to him. The past few days Mike has been away visiting his dad. I’m grateful he can spend some one on one time with his father especially after all the stress of his AZ course these past few weeks, but I have really missed him these past few days. It’s been so quiet, I miss hearing his voice and silly remarks. At the same time, I’m learning to lean on God for comfort and support when I start to feel sad.

Things I’m grateful for

  • How secure I feel in our relationship like we’re not going to break up if something goes wrong
  • Having freedom
  • How much I anticipate going home to Michael and our home
  • Being independent
  • Goodbye is never really goodbye
  • Being a team, when I go to work it’s for us, I’m helping contribute to our financial goals
  • His family feels like my family. I feel a stronger bond with Mike’s family since being married.
  • Michael is the sweetest husband ever! Honestly, I’m so blessed.
    • One day I came home from work and he had made me supper and did the dishes. He was also about to make the bed which he never does.
    • He’s brought me breakfast in bed a couple times.
    • Taking care of me when I wasn’t feeling well
    • When I cough in the night and he asks if I’m okay
    • Checking the oil in my car before I leave
    • Installing things for our house
    • Organizing our stuff while I’m gone
    • Being the best at dishes and cleaning up
    • Making sure I have everything I need

Things I’m learning

I can’t look to Michael to define me, complete me or validate me. I know this, but it’s a lot harder to accept it on an everyday level. I’m learning to seek my worth from God. He says I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I’m in the midst of learning this truth and it’s really hard because I struggle with insecurity and feeling not good enough. I know that to be a good wife to Michael I first need to have a solid relationship with God. One where He is working in my heart to change the things that need to change. I’m so grateful that God brings us through situations where he grows our faith. I don’t want to remain stagnant in my walk with Him.

Things I’m looking forward to

  • Having lots of babies (;
  • Buying a house
  • Both of us getting started in our careers
 Click here to read: Newlywed Reflections~Month 2: I thought I’d be a Perfect Wife

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Why I Don’t Want To Be Curious Anymore

I’ve always classified myself as a curious person. From a young age, I was fascinated in discovering new information. As a young child, I was especially interested in animals. I had an encyclopedia type book on animals and I was an avid watcher of Zoboomafoo. Basically, I considered myself an animal “expert” and I made sure that my family knew they could refer to me if they had any inquiries. Although my curiosity has expanded beyond animals to my current study of Human Ecology I still thoroughly enjoy learning.

Curiosity has multiple connotations. Above I shared about my curiosity for learning which in itself is not a harmful pursuit. On the other hand, curiosity can also be interpersonal. Where the desire for information turns to wanting to know details about others lives, thoughts or actions. I’m referring to the curiosity that drives gossip and pursues unwholesome or inappropriate information.

I never understood the phrase “curiosity killed the cat”. In my mind curiosity was a good, innocent thing. It drove my desire to pursue higher education. I didn’t understand the other side of being curious. The part of wanting to know too much. At twenty-one, I’m a lot less innocent. I finally understand after a recent experience why it’s not always best to be an avidly curious person in interpersonal contexts.

I’ve always tried to give people their space. I try not to pry or ask intrusive questions. Personally, I don’t appreciate those remarks and I don’t always feel comfortable divulging certain personal aspects of my life. On the other hand, with people, I’m relatively close to I tend to feel a lot more confident asking those awkward or personal questions. Recently I crossed a line in asking for details and it got me in trouble. The information I received was not necessary or relevant or appropriate for me to know. It led the other person to be curious about similar aspects of my life. After the fact, I felt dumb for going too far with my questioning. I realized it’s not always beneficial to myself or others to be curious about certain matters. 

After that moment and doing some pondering I decided I don’t want to be curious anymore.

I don’t need to know the details of your life
As intriguing, exciting or relevant someone’s life may seem to me it’s not necessarily my place to unravel those details. I don’t need to know things said in private or about past experiences or relationships. If there is no prosperous reason to know the unrevealed information it’s not necessary to reveal. The following verse provides a good reminder about what information to dwell on.

“…be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil” Romans 16:19

In regards to romantic relationships, I think knowing too many details of someone’s past personal experiences can be detrimental to the present relationship, especially in the beginning. As the relationship progresses more things will ultimately be shared as the trust level increases. In talking about past experiences I would caution to only share of vague general experiences while leaving the nitty gritty details out of it.

The consideration of future regret may quell your present intrigue

If you’re having trouble knowing where to draw the line I would seek advice from a wise older person, pastor or counsellor. It may be painful or bring up regretful memories when talking about past experiences. I would encourage sensitivity for the listener along with grace and forgiveness. Sometimes certain questions need to be asked but other times it’s best to let the person share as they feel comfortable. I would also encourage prayer in this sensitive area.

I don’t want to spread gossip
Another aspect of being curious is that it fosters an environment where gossip is spread. Gossip is driven by the desire for information. Most of the time the information being passed on is not necessary for the hearer to know of. Curiosity drives the fight for wanting to know just a little bit more about a person or situation. In one aspect it gives a feeling of power. I can rationalize that I should know this information because of my relationship with this person or so that I won’t allow this person to use me… Talking about people in a rude or unprosperous manner is wrong. STOP wanting to know more. Just let things be. I’m learning to be satisfied with being innocent or ignorant of information that doesn’t pertain to me. I just don’t want to know. No matter how tantalizing the information may seem. For me, this is an ongoing struggle and still something that I would like to improve on in 2016.
At other times you yourself may be questioned for information. In these situations, it’s fair to say “It’s really none of our business” and to leave it at that. You don’t have to divulge personal information about yourself or others. It takes integrity to become a trustworthy person.

TNK
TNK is an acronym I learned while serving at a summer camp when I was 16. It stands for True, Necessary and Kind. Before sharing information consider whether it’s true, accurate and honest, necessary whether or not it’s appropriate or worth telling and lastly kind, does it edify others and Jesus? This little acronym has always stuck with me. I really think people tend to skip over the N or the necessary component in conversation. Curiosity is hugely tied into this. A lot of information does not need to be passed on. A few reasons for not sharing something is due to it being harmful to someone, tearing down a person, dishonouring God, or not being appropriate or relevant.

Back to my summer at Word of Life, one of the verses we memorized was Philippians 4:8, coincidentally we also sang it as a song with actions for kids camp which helped solidify it in my head. This verse outlines what we should think about and in turn speak on:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthythink about such things.

Overall curiosity is not a negative thing. Curiosity becomes detrimental when the object of curiosity causes one to stumble or pry into issues that are not appropriate.

Be curious for the things of God

Be curious to discover His word

Be curious to learn and let this curiosity drive your motivation to work hard and

never stop pursuing God.

XO

When You Don’t Get What You Want

I recently heard a story about a lady who had infertility problems and she was to adopt another ladies baby after it was born. The due date came and went, and it turned out the lady had given the baby to someone else.

She had been promised this baby, had been hoping and excitedly preparing. She was thankful that God was giving her the desires of her heart. But then her hopes and dreams did not come to fruition. What a terrible loss.

She ended up going into a deep depression. Her comments on her situation from her current perspective really made me think. I’m paraphrasing but she said “We need to trust in God in who He is. Not in what we think He should or is going to give us. We shouldn’t put our hope or faith in relationships or desires. Only in God in His character and who He is.”  This really made me think. Often I want to look forward to what God has in store for my life such as a relationship, marriage, children. I can’t count on those things to fulfill me or to be proof of my good faith. I can only count on God, on His promises in His word.

Here are some attributes of God to dwell on:

Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever Hebrews 13:8

Nothing can separate us from His love Romans 8:38-39

He will never leave us or forsake us Hebrews 13:5

His love is unfailing Psalm 147:11

He is good Psalms 136:1

Count on God, His character and His promises; not on what you think He’s going to give you.