Becoming a mommy has been the most incredible experience. It’s a feeling I cannot describe. Even on my darkest days postpartum as a new mom, I felt such a deep love for my baby. Now a year later I have a much broader view of the first year. I have perspective compared to in the thick of newborn days. I’m not going to lie bringing home a new baby was a total shock. I remember going into our church nursery at 4 weeks postpartum and asking how mom’s with multiple kids did it. A year later I know it’s possible to make it through the infant stage to the cuddly, kisses on our face, hugs around the neck, starting to talk stage.
Lyla is six weeks old and I finally feel like I’m emerging from the postpartum fog. I expected birthing her to be hard but I was not prepared for the unique and unexpected trials of postpartum life. Of course, I’m so happy to have my sweet daughter but I’m not enjoying the challenges postpartum has brought to me personally. Everyone’s recovery and experiences are different but I want to share my experience in the hope that if you are pregnant or postpartum we can support each other in our journeys.
We arrived at the hospital at 1 pm and met our primary midwife in the maternal triage area (we also had a second midwife assist during the birth). She lead us across the hall to the delivery room where I changed into a gown and laid down on the bed. I looked out the window and noted our nice view of autumn coloured trees covering the city. The distraction was a good way to start the day.
Welcome to our family Lyla Dawn Kramer <3
The past two and half weeks have been filled with so much change, so much love and a lot of learning!
Before I found out I was expecting I could not wait to be pregnant. I used to tell my husband that “I would be so happy if I was pregnant!” because I just knew that pregnancy would be amazing like everyone says and plus you get this cute bump to show off. I had no idea how much work it is to be pregnant! Despite the downsides of pregnancy I can never take for granted the ability to carry a child and I am grateful for this privilege every day. Especially the fact that I’m able to go through this experience with my husband. This has made the journey so much more special.
As I found out pregnancy isn’t all having a wonderful glow and feeling baby kicks. There are days when you don’t want to leave the house or you just go back to bed because you’re so sick. I wasn’t prepared for this reality before becoming pregnant. I’m one of those people who have to experience something before I can form an opinion on it. Pregnancy has definitely been one of those things.
If you’re a first-time mom to be or even hope to have kids one day I hope this post will be informative and encouraging <3
1. The first trimester is awful
Basically, you enter a level of exhaustion unknown to those not pregnant. This occurs partly because your body is creating a new ORGAN also known as the placenta. It’s a lot of work to grow this structure and your constant desire to sleep will keep you alerted to this new phenomenon.
Couple exhaustion and not wanting to do anything but lie on the couch with intense nausea and vomiting. Now all women experience this symptom to a varying degree (I threw up as much as 12 times a day). Either way, it is not pleasant.
Try your best to stay hydrated and nourished. Some of my favourite things to drink and eat were cold smoothies (to soothe my throat) or popsicles, applesauce, yogurt, cold sliced oranges (I was obsessed), baked potatoes, plain bread and of course ginger ale. Later on, I also started drinking ginger peach tea in the morning and cold lemon water during the day (both help with nausea).
You may become averse to certain smells or foods (such as eggs). Some women take offence to a smell so bad they have to leave the room or they will start gagging.
Another symptom I experienced in the first trimester was feelings of sadness and being overwhelmed because it felt like nausea would never end. Sometimes I would burst into tears on the bathroom floor after puking or lying in bed because I was so tired. At the same time, I was worried about falling behind in school and all the extra things my husband had to take on because I just couldn’t do anything other than rest.
At the same time, it’s so important to have support when you’re pregnant especially in the beginning stages. Even if someone can come over for a few hours and help clean your house or even bring a meal it can make a huge difference! One thing I really appreciated was my mom coming over. One day, she brought over food for us, cleaned up our apartment and even washed my hair. She went through the same symptoms when she was pregnant with me (and teaching school), so it was nice to have someone who understood exactly what I was going through.
2. Early midwife/doctor appointments aren’t very exciting
My very favourite appointment was the one where we could finally hear the baby’s heartbeat at around 8-10 weeks. I could listen to that sound all day! Prior to that we basically just talked with our doctor after confirming I was pregnant and then at our first midwife appointment we just made sure I was a good fit for midwifery. I was also given requisitions for blood work and our first ultrasound. Even now at 21 weeks my appointments mainly consist of talking about how I’m feeling, getting updates on any tests or ultrasounds and then listening to the heartbeat.
One thing I do appreciate about having a midwife is the appointments are scheduled for an hour and they don’t rush you even if you run over your time. In contrast to having an OB where you only get to see them for a limited time.
In the beginning, there are a lot of appointments to attend and schedule. At the same time, it’s all exciting and new and everything is for the baby which is very special.
3. Don’t expect to start showing until at least your 5th month
With your first pregnancy, all of your abdominal and uterine muscles are pretty tight since a baby has never stretched them out before. As such your stomach doesn’t grow too much in the first half of pregnancy. However, everybody is different and you may show earlier or later in your pregnancy.
I’m almost 21 weeks and still don’t have a very noticeable “bump”. When I look in the mirror I can see that I look pregnant but I’m still able to wear all my normal clothes. In fact, wearing a loose shirt or dress I don’t even appear pregnant to others. Sometimes I’m okay with this because I don’t want the attention of people looking at me or touching my stomach. At other times I wish people could see that I’m pregnant so they could understand why I’m maybe a little tired or slower or why I’m parking in the expectant mother spot.
4. You think about food all the time
I’ve studied nutrition in undergrad so I am very aware of the nutrient needs of the body especially before, during and after pregnancy while breastfeeding. Even though I have this knowledge I still find it difficult at times to keep up with eating enough. I struggle with this for a few reasons. First, I experienced morning sickness for about 6 weeks until it got more manageable so I basically had no appetite. Secondly, I’m not a very big eater, so having to eat every 2-3 hours is not something I’m used to. Thankfully pregnancy has increased my appetite when I do eat and I’ve learned what types of foods I like to eat best.
Before talking more about food, it is imperative whether one is already expecting or thinking they may conceive to be taking a prenatal supplement. In fact, Dieticians of Canada recommends that every woman of childbearing age should take one or at least 3 months before you become pregnant. When choosing a prenatal vitamin look for one that contains 400 mcg of folic acid, vitamin B12, and 16-20 mg of iron.
Now onto the food! Usually, in a typical day, I will eat
Breakfast: 1/4-1/2 C oatmeal with half a sliced apple, 1/4 C raisins, cinnamon and milk heated in the microwave for 2 minutes. Not only is this meal filling because of the fibre from the oats it helps prevent constipation which is a symptom many pregnant women face as the smooth muscles of the intestines relax.
Snack: plain yogurt with honey, granola, chia seeds and fruit, applesauce, cheese and crackers, a can of tuna with mayo on crackers or hummus and rice crackers.
Lunch: leftovers, or part of a crustless quiche made with veggies or sometimes a salad with fruit, nuts, and cheese.
Supper: meat or fish such as ribs, pork, beef or chicken with a vegetable or salad and either potato, sweet potatoes or rice. Some of my go-to suppers include: stir-fry, baked chicken thighs finished with bbq sauce and bread crumbs, pasta bake with tuna, fajitas in the crock pot or chilli with black beans or lentils (also a great source of folate).
Typically after supper, I’ll have another snack like fruit and yogurt or a PB and J sandwich.
I’m pretty much thinking about food all day. I always ensure to have my water by my side. I like juicing half a lemon and adding it to my water because it tastes like sugar-free lemonade and I tend to drink more water that way. I also find it helpful to have a container with a straw so I can quickly sip water whenever I need it.
One more thing I would add is to be aware of how much sugar you are consuming. It is very important your blood sugar stays consistent rather than fluctuating. As this can affect the baby’s growth. Eating wholesome meals filled with fibre, fruit, and vegetables will ensure you are not craving sugar throughout the day.
5. Trust your instincts
Ever since finding out I was pregnant (even before when I suspected I was) my mom instincts and protective instincts have been very present. I’m highly aware of activities that could be dangerous for me or my spouse.
Overall though I feel a lot braver. I know I would do anything for my child, even before they are here. If someone says something about our baby or I’m not okay with something I feel a lot more freedom to speak up and not care as much what other people think. I want the best for my baby and I know that I have to trust my gut.
If you feel like something is wrong or you have a question call your midwife or doctor or go to the emergency room. You’re pregnant and your health and the baby’s health are a priority. Don’t let other people discourage you from asking for help. Or entice you to do things you absolutely don’t want to do. You know what is best for your child and no one else should have that power over you.
As I said above I am incredibly grateful to be pregnant and to be halfway through my pregnancy. I hope that any new moms find this post helpful and insightful <3
For any seasoned moms, what are some things you would add to this list?
Prenatal Nutrition Guidelines for Health Professionals: Folate Contributes to a Healthy Pregnancy [Health Canada, 2009]. (2017). Hc-sc.gc.ca. Retrieved 10 June 2017, from http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/pubs/nutrition/folate-eng.php
Do I Need a Supplement?. (2013). Dietitians of Canada. Retrieved 10 June 2017, from https://www.dietitians.ca/Your-Health/Nutrition-A-Z/Supplements/Do-I-Need-a-Supplement-.aspx
To read more pregnancy updates check out the following posts:
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As of today, I am 12 weeks! I am so happy to be coming out of the first trimester. I’ve heard a lot of good things about the second trimester so my hopes are somewhat high that I’ll be feeling better and more energized. Today I wanted to take a moment and share how my first trimester has been.
Choosing to be Thankful
At 6 weeks I found out to my joy and surprise that I was indeed expecting. Initially, I was shocked but also very happy. I have always wanted and dreamed of having a family, yet I never really thought it would happen this soon. Before I go on though I want to express how truly grateful I am for this pregnancy and that I don’t take the ability to conceive or carry a child lightly. I am very aware of the high rate of miscarriage and the myriad of difficulties many women face when trying to conceive. As I write and share my experiences I always try to keep in mind the experiences of others and be sensitive. I thank God every day for this precious life inside of me. Although I don’t enjoy feeling sick or throwing up, each time I do it reminds me of the gift I’m blessed to carry. During the low times, I’ve tried to remember this and not complain about how unglamorous pregnancy can sometimes feel.
Yes, pregnancy is not easy but I am so grateful to be able to experience it. One thing that has surprised me is how emotional I’ve been. A lot of times I try to hold back the tears but if I watch anything remotely sad I can feel the tears start. For example, I was watching a prank video on YouTube with Mike of this guy proposing to his girlfriend in a mall, but she rejected him. The whole crowd of people just laughed at him, except for one guy who gave him a hug. I just could not help crying even though I suspected it was fake. I just felt so bad for the poor guy. I also cry when I’ve been sick and throwing up constantly and it seems like I’ll never feel like myself again or be able to eat. Sometimes it’s hard to see an end. I also have no idea what it’s going to be like to have a baby. I’m excited in the sense that I will have my own baby. At the same time, I’m scared because I feel so unprepared and inexperienced. Maybe my emotions are how I’m expressing this fear and just how overwhelmed I sometimes feel. Either way, sometimes it feels good to cry.
Something that has really helped during the low times is reading scripture. This blog has some really great encouraging verses to meditate on during pregnancy. I also find that reading a few chapters from the Bible before bed is very powerful. I am reminded of how alive God’s word is and how much strength I gain from it. I would really encourage you to make time for God, even if you’re feeling sick or down.
Eating and Craving
As I mentioned above eating and keeping food down has been a struggle. I find I don’t have the biggest appetite and when I try to eat more than I can, I feel sick after. Usually, I just try to eat small manageable snacks throughout the day like apples and cheese, peanut butter on an English muffin, yogurt with fruit, oranges (I love fresh, juicy fruit!), milk, a bagel, applesauce, smoothies, soup or sandwiches. My medication has at least allowed me to keep more food down during the day, which I am so grateful for.
Physically, I have noticed an increase in energy since around week 10. I was able to clean up a bit and do some laundry this past weekend which was awesome. I feel so much better when things are clean and put away. I find that after being out for a few hours I get tired and need a nap when I get home. I don’t feel guilty about sleeping because I know this is only a temporary luxury! Overall I haven’t felt generally sick as I did before, I would say I feel good about 60% of the time. In the morning and evening’s I get nauseous or after long car rides. I would also say I have a ‘baby’ baby bump beginning to show, which makes me super excited! One lady at church even noticed I was beginning to show a teeny bit (:
Overall I haven’t felt generally sick as I did before, I would say I feel good about 60% of the time. In the morning and evening’s I get nauseous or after long car rides. I would also say I have a ‘baby’ baby bump beginning to show, which makes me super excited! One lady at church even noticed I was beginning to show a teeny bit (:
I am feeling a lot better than I did and I’m looking forward to finishing classes soon. I have two more papers and then studying for four exams during April. Following that, I’ll be taking a few summer courses to finish my degree and graduate in October!
THANK YOU! <3
Lastly, I want to thank everyone who has reached out to me either on here or otherwise. I read every comment and message and it honestly means so much to me! <3 Michael and I are so grateful for everyone’s love, support and excitement during this very special time in our life! <3 I look forward to sharing more updates!
For more on my pregnancy and postpartum journey read:
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