I wrote this post on new mom fears a while ago. At the time I wasn’t sure if I wanted to publish it. I thought I would share it in light of mother’s day to encourage other moms on the journey of motherhood.
As a new mom, I remember having many fears before having my daughter. Now more than a year later I know my fears were nothing to worry about.
At the time I didn’t want to be only a mom. Leading up to this moment I had been Courtney. A married young woman finishing up her university degree. She was an autonomous adult.
Yet ever since another human life inhabited my body I haven’t been the same person. I lost some of the previous version of myself. It wasn’t until my postpartum days I realized this change. At the time I was not only coping with the presence of a baby but the partial loss of my previous self.
To support a new mom is to support her need to care and provide for her baby. The next most important person to a baby is the father. Everyone else’s role should be to support the new family. In this post, I will outline some practical ways to help a new family while promoting bonding between the baby and parents.
In my undergraduate, I studied the Family, therefore, I hold the view that attachment bonds are very important to cultivate in early childhood.
First of all, thank you for reading my blog! I appreciate every comment, view and share of my posts more than you know. I started this blog back in 2013 because I had so many thoughts floating around in my head that I wanted to share with others. I have always been into journaling so blogging was a natural extension of my love of writing.
There is no perfect time to have a baby but there are better times. This post is by no means a checklist of things to have in place before having a baby. Rather it’s a list of things a couple may find helpful to discuss before starting their family. As I note at the end only God is the one who gives life and each life is a precious gift.
Full disclosure we got pregnant nine months after our wedding while I was in my last semester of university. Looking back I wouldn’t reccommend being pregnant while in school because it was very stressful. However, it can be done and I did have the benefit of a very flexible schedule to accommodate all my appointments.
Becoming a mother has been a transformative experience. I can live on a lot less sleep than I thought, I can be awoken from the deepest of sleep if I hear my baby stirring and I care much less about my needs or wants now that I have this little life depending on me.
A lot of the time life can feel unfair. Part of this feeling comes from expectations in marriage being unmet. I certainly expected my present circumstances to be different. I thought I’d work before having a baby, that I’d be in my own home, that I’d live near my family and friends. However, that’s not how life turned out. At times I feel jaded, sad and to be honest angry. I want control of my life.
Lately, I’ve been wrestling with this idea of control over my life. It doesn’t seem fair at times that the expectations of my current reality are unmet. I want to call the shots and know where my future is headed.
Lyla is six weeks old and I finally feel like I’m emerging from the postpartum fog. I expected birthing her to be hard but I was not prepared for the unique and unexpected trials of postpartum life. Of course, I’m so happy to have my sweet daughter but I’m not enjoying the challenges postpartum has brought to me personally. Everyone’s recovery and experiences are different but I want to share my experience in the hope that if you are pregnant or postpartum we can support each other in our journeys.