What Surprised Me About our First Month of Marriage Newlywed Reflections~Month 1

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

As of June 7th, Michael and I have been married for one month!! When we were engaged time seemed to move super slow, since we’ve been married time has flown by! Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about this past month and what I’ve learned, been surprised about or am grateful for. I wanted to share some early things I’ve been learning as a newlywed <3

What Surprised Me About Our First Month of Marriage

Things that surprised me:

How immediately our relationship felt different

After our reception, I was waiting for Mike to change out of his tuxedo and I felt sort of lost. I didn’t know where I belonged. I couldn’t wait with my parents because I was married and they just gave me away. I just had this feeling of separateness now that Michael is my husband. We were a new family. We belonged together. It was a strange and unexpected feeling.

On the other hand the next day it felt so normal being with Mike, yet very different at the same time. For example, we went shopping at Forever 21 except this time we were spending our money and I was with my husband. It’s such a hard feeling to explain, but our relationship just felt so solid and strong. I wasn’t just shopping with my boyfriend, I was with my husband.

Being together feels different especially around other people. I feel more confident with him by my side and less awkward.

Real life is better than the honeymoon

We had a wonderful honeymoon in Cuba, I’m so grateful we were able to get away. I miss the evenings where we would sit out on our balcony reading the Bible and our devo books together and just talking and watching Fernando the gecko. At the same time, the reality of life always looms over one’s head while on vacation. Honestly, I was really looking forward to returning home. I wanted to experience everyday life with Michael. To live in our apartment together and go shopping for our home. The first few days back after our vacation was just fun and blissful in a different way.

How much I miss him when we’re apart.

Honestly, I’m glad we’re not together all the time. I need Courtney time and he needs Mike time. At the end of the day, I’m so ready to come home to him. The past few days Mike has been away visiting his dad. I’m grateful he can spend some one on one time with his father especially after all the stress of his AZ course these past few weeks, but I have really missed him these past few days. It’s been so quiet, I miss hearing his voice and silly remarks. At the same time, I’m learning to lean on God for comfort and support when I start to feel sad.

Things I’m grateful for

  • How secure I feel in our relationship like we’re not going to break up if something goes wrong
  • Having freedom
  • How much I anticipate going home to Michael and our home
  • Being independent
  • Goodbye is never really goodbye
  • Being a team, when I go to work it’s for us, I’m helping contribute to our financial goals
  • His family feels like my family. I feel a stronger bond with Mike’s family since being married.
  • Michael is the sweetest husband ever! Honestly, I’m so blessed.
    • One day I came home from work and he had made me supper and did the dishes. He was also about to make the bed which he never does.
    • He’s brought me breakfast in bed a couple times.
    • Taking care of me when I wasn’t feeling well
    • When I cough in the night and he asks if I’m okay
    • Checking the oil in my car before I leave
    • Installing things for our house
    • Organizing our stuff while I’m gone
    • Being the best at dishes and cleaning up
    • Making sure I have everything I need

Things I’m learning

I can’t look to Michael to define me, complete me or validate me. I know this, but it’s a lot harder to accept it on an everyday level. I’m learning to seek my worth from God. He says I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). I’m in the midst of learning this truth and it’s really hard because I struggle with insecurity and feeling not good enough. I know that to be a good wife to Michael I first need to have a solid relationship with God. One where He is working in my heart to change the things that need to change. I’m so grateful that God brings us through situations where he grows our faith. I don’t want to remain stagnant in my walk with Him.

Things I’m looking forward to

  • Having lots of babies (;
  • Buying a house
  • Both of us getting started in our careers
 Click here to read: Newlywed Reflections~Month 2: I thought I’d be a Perfect Wife

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Photography: Camille Marie Photography 

One Year

One year ago today Michael and I went on our very first official date as boyfriend and girlfriend. We had met almost four weeks prior to December 21, but we decided to get to know each other for one month before making things official. Although Mr. Eager wanted to begin dating closer to two weeks. We made it through two more long weeks after I went back to school. Then finally I made my way back to Kitchener on January 23, 2015. I anxiously awaited Michael’s arrival at my house. I was almost more nervous than our first date. I was hiding in the back room when he shyly came to the door with carnations where my mom answered. Before we left my mom took the honorary couple picture of two very nervous slightly awkward almost “official” daters.

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We walked out to Michael’s car and sat in it for a brief moment where he asked me the question I’d been waiting to hear for so long “will you be my girlfriend?”. From that moment on I was in a new season and experience of my life. Being in a relationship opens your eyes to the world in a way you’ve never seen it before. Suddenly the love stories in movies seem different and more relatable yet less desirable. 

We headed out that night to Kelsey’s all dressed up and so very happy to be together. After finding out there would be a long wait we decided to leave. Instead of spending a lot of money at the Keg for only our very first date we ventured to Casey’s. We were so new in our relationship that night, the feelings were so invigorating I think people could sense our infatuation. While we were ordering our food an older couple was leaving. The man stopped by our table and gave us an extra coupon he had for our meal. In that moment I felt his kindness and thoughtfulness as a blessing from God. Going out to eat at a nice restaurant was a luxury for us. I’ll never forget that strangers thoughtful gesture to us.

Following our meal, I don’t quite remember if we did anything else but we eventually headed near my house. Before dropping me off we just sat in a church parking lot on a hill overlooking our city and talked for a few hours. In our early days of dating, we spent a lot of time about our pasts, our families, our dreams, our lives. We really got to know each well within those first few months.

One year later and I think I know Michael a whole lot more than I did on that late night in January. Although I know there is still much more to learn, discover and appreciate about him. I’m so thankful for all the moments and times of sharing we’ve had so far.

A few things I love about Mike:

  • He makes me laugh, whether it’s adlibbing lyrics to a song, being wacky with me, tickling me, having a water fight or jumping out at me :p he can always make me smile
  • He loves God, Mike doesn’t take God lightly, he continually encourages me to pursue God wholeheartedly,  he keeps our focus on God through prayer, bible study and discussing how we can better serve God
  • He is authentic, either Mike is all in or all out, he will always give you the honest truth
  • He prioritizes communication if I need to talk to him about something or there’s an issue we need to resolve he will deal with it on the spot
  • He loves kids, Mike is pretty much the greatest uncle ever to Maverick, it’s so obvious he loves the kid to death and he makes an effort to be part of his life even though there are an hour and a half distance between them <3
  • He pursued me and made it clear from the beginning that his intentions included marriage
  • He is  generous, kind and thoughtful, Mike is always willing to help those close to him or offer a helping hand, he considers the needs of those around him and responds, whether it’s delivering a TV, buying coffee,  making grilled cheese or charging my phone
  • He is chivalrous, this was one of the first qualities that endeared me to Mike, he would open my car door, carry groceries, warm the car up for me, turn on my seat heater or hand me a blanket when I’ve been cold
  • He has incredible insight, Mike loves to talk and I like to listen, Mike has this incredible ability to explain things and make them very understandable, he sees situations and people differently and his perspective has great wisdom
  • He’s my best friend

Happy Anniversary Babe! I love you <3

One Year: from dating to Engagement

Why I Don’t Want To Be Curious Anymore

I’ve always classified myself as a curious person. From a young age, I was fascinated in discovering new information. As a young child, I was especially interested in animals. I had an encyclopedia type book on animals and I was an avid watcher of Zoboomafoo. Basically, I considered myself an animal “expert” and I made sure that my family knew they could refer to me if they had any inquiries. Although my curiosity has expanded beyond animals to my current study of Human Ecology I still thoroughly enjoy learning.

Curiosity has multiple connotations. Above I shared about my curiosity for learning which in itself is not a harmful pursuit. On the other hand, curiosity can also be interpersonal. Where the desire for information turns to wanting to know details about others lives, thoughts or actions. I’m referring to the curiosity that drives gossip and pursues unwholesome or inappropriate information.

I never understood the phrase “curiosity killed the cat”. In my mind curiosity was a good, innocent thing. It drove my desire to pursue higher education. I didn’t understand the other side of being curious. The part of wanting to know too much. At twenty-one, I’m a lot less innocent. I finally understand after a recent experience why it’s not always best to be an avidly curious person in interpersonal contexts.

I’ve always tried to give people their space. I try not to pry or ask intrusive questions. Personally, I don’t appreciate those remarks and I don’t always feel comfortable divulging certain personal aspects of my life. On the other hand, with people, I’m relatively close to I tend to feel a lot more confident asking those awkward or personal questions. Recently I crossed a line in asking for details and it got me in trouble. The information I received was not necessary or relevant or appropriate for me to know. It led the other person to be curious about similar aspects of my life. After the fact, I felt dumb for going too far with my questioning. I realized it’s not always beneficial to myself or others to be curious about certain matters. 

After that moment and doing some pondering I decided I don’t want to be curious anymore.

I don’t need to know the details of your life
As intriguing, exciting or relevant someone’s life may seem to me it’s not necessarily my place to unravel those details. I don’t need to know things said in private or about past experiences or relationships. If there is no prosperous reason to know the unrevealed information it’s not necessary to reveal. The following verse provides a good reminder about what information to dwell on.

“…be wise about what is good, and innocent about what is evil” Romans 16:19

In regards to romantic relationships, I think knowing too many details of someone’s past personal experiences can be detrimental to the present relationship, especially in the beginning. As the relationship progresses more things will ultimately be shared as the trust level increases. In talking about past experiences I would caution to only share of vague general experiences while leaving the nitty gritty details out of it.

The consideration of future regret may quell your present intrigue

If you’re having trouble knowing where to draw the line I would seek advice from a wise older person, pastor or counsellor. It may be painful or bring up regretful memories when talking about past experiences. I would encourage sensitivity for the listener along with grace and forgiveness. Sometimes certain questions need to be asked but other times it’s best to let the person share as they feel comfortable. I would also encourage prayer in this sensitive area.

I don’t want to spread gossip
Another aspect of being curious is that it fosters an environment where gossip is spread. Gossip is driven by the desire for information. Most of the time the information being passed on is not necessary for the hearer to know of. Curiosity drives the fight for wanting to know just a little bit more about a person or situation. In one aspect it gives a feeling of power. I can rationalize that I should know this information because of my relationship with this person or so that I won’t allow this person to use me… Talking about people in a rude or unprosperous manner is wrong. STOP wanting to know more. Just let things be. I’m learning to be satisfied with being innocent or ignorant of information that doesn’t pertain to me. I just don’t want to know. No matter how tantalizing the information may seem. For me, this is an ongoing struggle and still something that I would like to improve on in 2016.
At other times you yourself may be questioned for information. In these situations, it’s fair to say “It’s really none of our business” and to leave it at that. You don’t have to divulge personal information about yourself or others. It takes integrity to become a trustworthy person.

TNK
TNK is an acronym I learned while serving at a summer camp when I was 16. It stands for True, Necessary and Kind. Before sharing information consider whether it’s true, accurate and honest, necessary whether or not it’s appropriate or worth telling and lastly kind, does it edify others and Jesus? This little acronym has always stuck with me. I really think people tend to skip over the N or the necessary component in conversation. Curiosity is hugely tied into this. A lot of information does not need to be passed on. A few reasons for not sharing something is due to it being harmful to someone, tearing down a person, dishonouring God, or not being appropriate or relevant.

Back to my summer at Word of Life, one of the verses we memorized was Philippians 4:8, coincidentally we also sang it as a song with actions for kids camp which helped solidify it in my head. This verse outlines what we should think about and in turn speak on:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthythink about such things.

Overall curiosity is not a negative thing. Curiosity becomes detrimental when the object of curiosity causes one to stumble or pry into issues that are not appropriate.

Be curious for the things of God

Be curious to discover His word

Be curious to learn and let this curiosity drive your motivation to work hard and

never stop pursuing God.

XO

Happy New Year!

I cannot believe the year I experienced. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined such a year. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be getting married till I was like 28 and working and living on my own. I’m so thankful my dreams came true <3

I’ve learned and grown and experienced so much this year. It’s hard to sum things up. To start I began the year with my very best friend since grade 6 Amanda who is now my maid of honour. We celebrated surrounded by young people from her grandfather’s church in a small community centre in Plattsville. I also tried curling for the first time and was huge clutz as I fell several times on the ice. #SOML.

With the dawn of the new year was the dawn of a new relationship with my love Michael on January 23. From there, things progressed until the summer when I knew I didn’t want to spend my life without him. He proposed August 21 in Niagara Falls. Honestly, I’ve never been in a relationship before and it felt like a huge learning curve for me. I’ve learned so much about myself and life. It challenges you when you’re around someone so different from you but who also loves you soo much and wants the best for you.  I’ve learned to be a better listener, I’m continually learning to communicate better and what a godly relationship looks like through our pre-marriage counselling. I’m very quiet and reserved and Mike is very to the point and outgoing. He’s taught me a lot and encouraged me to speak up and be brave around people.

I’m really looking forward to this next year together with Mike and all the new experiences we will share.

M+C ring

Photo: Katie Kramer Photography

Another change I experienced this year was switching my program of study. I’m no longer on the path to become a dietician. I switched from pursuing a BSc to a BA in nutrition and families. I’m in the same program minus the science component. Instead, I will be a professional home economist(PHEc) when I graduate. My goals right now are to pursue a job within an agricultural marketing board such as the Pork or Dairy Board of Ontario. In this role, I would educate consumers on how to prepare and properly store various products, test recipes, and write articles. My long-term goals are to contribute to a magazine, work in a test kitchen and blog about food. Ultimately I would like to work from home and be free to take care of my family.

The change in program was much needed as the fall semester has gone better than any of my previous ones. My marks are much higher and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all of my classes. I’ve been able to take psychology, the psychology of eating, parenting and a few others. I’m looking forward to where God takes me over the next few years career-wise.

“God gives us passions that connect with His heart”.

Recently I was listening to a podcast by Authentic Intimacy called Java with Juli. In the episode, the ladies were discussing pursuing your dream vs pursuing God’s dream. The takeaway I took from it was we have to step out and obey God and allow Him to work through us. We must be willing to step away from what we think we should be doing. Erin Smalley a lady on the panel gave an example of where she had started giving marriage seminars with her husband. For her public speaking was not enjoyable but at her husband’s encouragement she began to get better and even enjoy it. She had gone back to school got a Masters in counselling. Everything seemed to be going very well. Then God granted a desire she had had since she was a child to adopt a little girl. She said it was very difficult and hard to let go of this new passion and she didn’t understand why God was bringing this new season of being a stay at home mom again into her life at this exact time. She shares how God brought the provision of a girl to care for their children allowing her to go back out and speak. She had to lay down her dream in order for God to work His bigger purpose for her life. In conclusion, we should ask God how can we join in the work He is already doing?

Honestly, what is life without God, without pursuing His will and purposes for our life? I’ve had some ups and downs this year. I’ve had times where I felt conflicted and times where I didn’t act like myself. I thought about things and I came the conclusion that I want what God wants for my life. To honour him with my actions not to pursue to the flesh or act out in rebellion or immaturity. I may not always have the most fun or be the most exciting person. At the end of the day, I can rest knowing I obeyed God and put Him first.

Yes, I have dreams and passions and desires and goals for this New Year. Overall I want to ask God what He has in store for me, where can I be used by Him? How can I be a good example to those around me? I want to be more disciplined with my devotional time, I want to pray more intentionally and I want to get involved at Church. I want to be a suitable helper to Michael. I want to do well in school and finish strong.

What are your goals for 2016?
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XO

Just Wait

Everything in life takes time.  Yet I want life to happen just like I’ve planned it:

  • Meet a cute guy
  • Date
  • Get married
  • Have kids

While I simultaneously:

  • Finish school
  • Secure an internship
  • Become an RD
  • Have a fulfilling career

Boom boom done!

Just Wait: learning to wait for God's best

 

I don’t want to wait for things to happen.

Yet, I’m learning day by day that you cannot plan life, you cannot expect things to be the way you thought they would. Summer jobs you planned on working may fall through-then what? Relationships may spring out of nowhere and totally surprise you! Either way, life is full of unexpected turns and trials. I bet you never thought you’d be where you are today a year ago. I certainly could never ever planned my life would be like it currently is. I’m learning to take things one day, one season at a time. It’s exciting not to know what the future holds. I know God has a plan for me, that He is revealing day by day. I just need to be faithful to trust and obey Him. I need to submit my will to His perfect will. It’s not easy because I want to know the roadmap for my life. I want to know who I’m going to marry when we’ll get married. That’s not the way life is.

I think of people like Joseph and David whom God had clearly promised to bless and raise to great positions of power. They were not automatically put into these high positions. It took years of crappy jobs, continual faith and obedience for them to reach their calling. It’s the same way with us. God has great plans for our life, but they aren’t going to happen overnight. We have to go through the struggles and the trials of life. Maybe He’s preparing us for our future roles. Maybe He’s trying to teach us patience and faith and how to be a servant before being a leader. Don’t expect things to happen quickly or easy. Honestly, the best things are worth waiting for like sex and babies. These things could be an incredible blessing or a regretful experience. Everyone has choices to make and we are all responsible for how we choose to conduct our lives. Think ahead to the future, think about the big overall picture. Not just the next week or month or hour. I know it’s so hard because we get caught up in the moment and we crave pleasure. This isn’t wrong, but we need to be mindful of our choices and of who they are going to affect.

All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 1 Corinthians 6:12

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. Philippians 2:3, 4

Marriage is a wonderful thing. It is something I highly desire and aspire to attain. As I ponder marriage I think of the couples that have gone before me. I think about the couples who just seem like they were truly made for each other and seem to have such an incredible bond. Then I think about how long they waited to marry each other. Sometimes they dated for three years and long distance. During all this time they had an intense desire to be together. Yet it wasn’t the right time for them to get married. Think about how sweet it is for them and their family and friends to finally see them commit to each other for life. It’s such a joyous celebration. Good things don’t come easy or fast. You must wait for them and seek them out.

Life is full of waiting. I’m learning to expect to wait. To wait on God, to wait for His perfect timing. I don’t want what I think is good or the best. I truly with all my heart want God’s best. This is so hard for me to accept sometimes, but it’s part of obedience and of dying to self. Yes, I greatly desire marriage and a family, and I don’t know when these things will happen. I know that I must wait and I will continue to wait. I don’t expect them to happen quickly or easily. When these desires come to fruition I know I will be deeply grateful and excited. Life doesn’t begin when you get what you’ve always dreamed about, perhaps it becomes sweeter and more enjoyable though. I think that every stage of life is better than the last (at least that’s been the case so far). As we get older we mature and determine what really matters to us most in life. Ultimately it’s relationships. Perhaps that is why marriage and a family of one’s own are so desirable because it’s the forming of new intimate relationships. Don’t we all crave to be known and deeply loved? A family is partly where these longings are filled. God created the family. He is a giver of good things. We always need to be pursuing God through reading His word and praying to Him. This is how He reveals His will for us. We, in turn, need to obey Him and do the hard things and make the sacrifices in order to please Him and live for something beyond our selfish selves.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me Philippians 4:13

I know life is hard, school is not enjoyable, waiting sucks and expectations ruin reality. Stop. Just wait on God. Seek Him with all of your heart, mind and soul. Obey Him, because you’re never going to regret it.

 

XO

P.S.

I think waiting is so hard because it feels like we’re wasting time, like life is passing us by while we could be experiencing things. This is one of the most frustrating parts of waiting, it seems as if life is going nowhere. We get so caught up with our timelines and our age. I would encourage you to not view time as a restraint. Instead just allow things to happen as they occur over constantly measuring your life against a timeline. You may be surprised that you feel more free and relaxed concerning the events of your life. This is the attitude I’m trying to adopt-to let life happen

 


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Click here to read: Thoughts on Singleness: How I Conquered Feeling Lonely, Unwanted and Not Good Enough

Reflections of a Year Gone by

As I look back at the previous year I can divide it right down the middle and see two distinct times of my life. The first six months began with hopeful excitement and disbelief, but soon after those feelings came disappointment, sadness and regrets. Although this wasn’t a particularly enjoyable time of life I learned and I grew. The next six months I also learned a lot, and this helped me to grow as a person. Most of all  I gained confidence in myself and who God has created me to be. I don’t need anyone to validate me. I’m comfortable surrendering the plans of my life to God and going where He leads me.  Almost a year later I’m remembering the lessons I learned and trying not to repeat those steps.

Reflections of Year Gone Bye

May was a full month of really trusting God with providing summer employment. I learned to trust that God will always provide for our needs and often He will come through right when we think our situation is beginning to seem hopeless.

June to August was packed full of new experiences, many new people, a lot of time to just think and talk with people I never would have otherwise gotten to know. I also had a few low times during this period. I found it difficult to learn new tasks at work, I was exhausted, frustrated and trying to fit in and get to know my coworkers. It was at times a rough transition, there were times when I felt like crying and giving up. I know I am not a quitter and I have to rely on God’s strength to get me through each day. I learned my body is capable of way more than I ever thought possible, that I can push through the fatigue, the sweat and frustration.

As I began a new school year I took the lessons I learned from the summer and applied them to school. I went to the gym when I didn’t feel like it, I took fewer naps and wrote more notes. I did all those things that are boring and I didn’t feel like doing because I wanted to continue to feel proud of myself. My summer job was one of the proudest achievements I’ve had so far, and I want to continue that trend in my life.

Last Christmas was not the most wonderful time of the year for me. So this year I decided to do an Advent study my church recommended by John Piper called Good News of Great Joy. As I progressed through this study my understanding of the Christmas season intensified. Christ didn’t just come to earth as a vulnerable baby in a manger. He came to start his mission and ministry on earth. He came to suffer for us, to die on the cross and to rise again to sit at the right hand of God. His mission was not always easy, at times it was hard, but He obeyed God and His Father was well pleased with Him. Life isn’t easy or fun and we should expect hard times and disappointments. In these times we understand more of God’s character and we learn hard lessons. I would encourage you to never stop praying or reading your Bible, these are the only true sources of comfort and hope and really the only thing that keeps me going.

My year started off on a high note and it is ending off on an even higher note. Recently God has really blessed me. I never expected this to happen especially not the way it did. I can see God in the details. Nothing I did made these circumstances occur. I’m just so thankful this is how I’m starting my new year. It’s fun, new and exciting. I can’t wait to see what this next year holds!

 

 

XO

 

Happy New Year!

 

 

When You Don’t Get What You Want

I recently heard a story about a lady who had infertility problems and she was to adopt another ladies baby after it was born. The due date came and went, and it turned out the lady had given the baby to someone else.

She had been promised this baby, had been hoping and excitedly preparing. She was thankful that God was giving her the desires of her heart. But then her hopes and dreams did not come to fruition. What a terrible loss.

She ended up going into a deep depression. Her comments on her situation from her current perspective really made me think. I’m paraphrasing but she said “We need to trust in God in who He is. Not in what we think He should or is going to give us. We shouldn’t put our hope or faith in relationships or desires. Only in God in His character and who He is.”  This really made me think. Often I want to look forward to what God has in store for my life such as a relationship, marriage, children. I can’t count on those things to fulfill me or to be proof of my good faith. I can only count on God, on His promises in His word.

Here are some attributes of God to dwell on:

Jesus is the same, yesterday, today and forever Hebrews 13:8

Nothing can separate us from His love Romans 8:38-39

He will never leave us or forsake us Hebrews 13:5

His love is unfailing Psalm 147:11

He is good Psalms 136:1

Count on God, His character and His promises; not on what you think He’s going to give you.

 

Why I Like Being Called ‘the Weaker Vessel’

I don’t find it offensive that in 1 Peter 3:7, wives are likened unto a weaker vessel:

Likewise, you husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. 1 Peter 5:7

I think it makes sense and I don’t disagree. First of all, because the Word is inspired by a perfect Heavenly Father who loves us and wants what is best for us. Secondly, I am weaker as a female, but I am created equal to a man.

Men and Women have Different Brains

Men are able to compartmentalize their lives. Whereas women connect everything. Their emotions and feelings are tied to all aspects of their lives. Men can leave work and come home and totally forget about everything that just happened, women carry the events of their day with them. Women are wired to be more relational and connect through conversation. Men bond through activities and just being together, more than chatting over coffee. We are both made uniquely to complement and balance each other out.

We are Created Equal, but We have Different Roles

So God created mankind in His own image, in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

I don’t believe in feminism as in the belief that society’s problems can be blamed on patriarchy. Men and women are seen as equals before God, neither one is better. Men are called to be the provider and women are called to nurture and care for the family. To be specific, this is known as role specialization and it’s a beautiful thing. When we can live out our calling and support each other, our lives will run more harmoniously and be more fulfilling. On a basic level, this is letting a man hold the door for you and saying thank you.

Women Can Be Crazy

To prove this point just take a look at all the crazy girls that stalk celebrities and pay thousands of dollars just to meet them. Women are inherently crazier than men. Even though we act like this, men still love us. God created men to be patient and to cherish women despite their crazy tendencies. I think this is really humbling, even when we don’t deserve to be loved, they are there for us.

Overall, sometimes I am weaker due to my emotions and the stress of life. It’s awesome that the Bible acknowledges this and tells men to honour their wives. Women shouldn’t feel ashamed of being called weaker but should embrace being a biblical woman.

This post does a great job of summarizing what it means to be a ‘weaker vessel’ 

Guarding Your Heart in a Yes World

We live in a world that is constantly inundating us with images and messages. As a result, these messages become our thoughts, this affects how we behave in front of others, how we view ourselves and our lives. We have a choice to make: either to dwell on what society throws at us or to be vigilant in guarding our hearts and minds against the enemy and his lies.

One of my biggest temptations is comparison, especially when I’m scrolling through Pinterest. I start thinking if only I could have her legs or that sweater then I would feel better about myself. I’m so aware of how others look and what they’re wearing. For example, I could leave my house looking great but when I see another girl looking better than me (in my opinion) I suddenly feel like I don’t measure up. Part of my problem is the amount of time I spend on Pinterest, filling my head with pictures of airbrushed models. Part of this is my sin nature. My inherent ability to not view myself as God has created me. Instead of thinking of myself as fearfully and wonderfully made I start to dwell on my flaws. Society permeates what an ideal woman should look like. Or at least Pinterest is influencing my view of what I should aspire to look like. What we focus our thoughts on becomes what we dwell on and this, in turn, influences our actions.

To guard our hearts and minds it’s important to set boundaries based on biblical principles. Each person’s convictions may vary, but it’s important to yield to what the Holy Spirit and God’s word says is appropriate. Many quotations on Pinterest say things like “Follow your heart” or “Do what makes you happy”. Doing the right thing according to God is not always going to be fun or what feels good. It’s important to remember that:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9

You cannot trust your heart because it will not lead you in the way of truth, Satan is trying to deceive us and feed us lies. This also applies to the “if it feels good do it” mentality. I may not feel like going to the gym but this will benefit me. Obviously, it would feel better in the short run to stay home and eat chocolate. Many people fail to consider the long-term results of their short-term pleasures. We must be vigilant in making choices that honour God. This comes from a heart that loves God and His word and desires to please Him. God does not expect us to be perfect and not have fun. In fact, Jesus says in John 10:10:

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

God wants us to have full, exciting lives. He gives us commands and admonitions in scripture because He loves us! He created us and therefore knows what is best for us. Even when we mess up if we humble ourselves and repent of what we did wrong He is merciful and just to forgive us! In fact, nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39)! How comforting to know God will never leave us or abandon us. How many people do you know that are this faithful?

God is very clear on specific issues that are sinful in scripture. You may be wondering what about the things he doesn’t specify. Then we turn to the principles laid out in Gods word. 1 Corinthians 10:31 is a great starting point

So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

When you’re not sure if something you’re looking at or listening to is approved by God, think about whether this action brings glory to God. Personally, I don’t like watching or listening to media that contains a lot of profanity, using the Lords name in vain, sex, a storyline based on carnal pleasure, or nudity. Sometimes I can be caught off guard like when I’m at a movie theatre. In this situation, I try to look away so as not to send images to my brain that I don’t want to remember.

It is so important to study God’s word for what He has to say and to memorize scripture. You can train yourself to determine what is appropriate or not appropriate. It’s tough to be vigilant and make good choices or change the channel. Ultimately this is part of becoming more like God, part of becoming sanctified (1 Peter 1:16). We are called to become more like Christ each day. Obeying God is an act of worship, we are saying thank you that He sent His perfect Son Jesus to become sin for us and die on the cross and conquer death the punishment for sin. We could never have satisfied Gods price for sin. The only way He will accept us is if we through faith in Jesus Christ accept His gift of salvation.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith–and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8

I want to encourage you to put God first in all areas of your life, not because you have to, but because you love God and desire to please Him.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23

Are You Really Content?

Maybe you really are content with your station in life at the moment. A lot of times I feel like I am trying to persuade those around me that I really am okay with not having a boyfriend.
We are all trying to convince each other we’re content by saying:

“I’d love to be dating but, I’m good right now.

I’m not looking for a boyfriend.

God will bring me my prince charming.

I’m just really content with my life.

I’m too busy with school, this would not be a good time to have a boyfriend.”

Who are we trying to convince?

Each other or ourselves or maybe God?

Maybe you really are content with your station in life at the moment. A lot of times I feel like I am trying to persuade those around me that I really am content with not having a boyfriend.

This sounds a lot better than being honest and saying “Ya I’d love to be dating someone, do you know of any people?” or “Ya I’m so looking forward another valentines day alone!” or even “Somedays I just feel really sad and it feels like nobody notices me, I put effort into looking good and being friendly, but nothing is happening.”

It’s hard to be real with people because I don’t want them to think I’m jaded and overly emotional. At the same time, I want their support and encouragement. I can feel all these different emotions but at the end of the day I know I have too much to be thankful for to wallow in self-pity.

Obedience brings blessing

Multiple instances in the Bible show that obedience brings blessing. For example, when God is preparing Joshua to lead the Israelites he instructs that if they follow his commands their way would be “prosperous” and they would have “good success”.

In the story of David, even when those around him encouraged him to do wrong (1 Samuel 24:4-7, 26:8-11). He was steadfast in his faith (1 Samuel 30:6), he looked to God for strength in times of distress. He became king of Israel and God richly blessed him.

God’s blessings aren’t always what we desire, but if we obey God he will give us good gifts. He also looks at our hearts and can see our motivation for obeying Him. Whether it is out of love for Him and in thankfulness for all He has done for us or out of selfish ambition.

Reject the clichés

Aahh I cannot stand clichés. First of all, they set up false hope. They make getting what you want a formula. They can be good if they offer encouragement, but they are not applicable to every life situation. I find it more helpful to study God’s word for encouragement than read another relationship book on how to be Dateable or how to stay sexually pure.

Study God’s word for what He has to say

Having a quiet time or devotional each day is imperative to standing strong during temptation, growing closer to God, being able to discern truth, and staying encouraged.

Personally reading my Bible each day helps me have a right view of the world, of others and it teaches me how I should be acting. Most of all when I’m stressed about life or just feeling sad, I feel so much better after spending time with God. My perspective is flipped around. I begin to see life from God’s point of view again. I remember everything will happen in God’s time according to His plan.

I am at a point in my life where school is very important to me. On a personal level, this means surrendering my plans and my life to Him. I want to go where He leads me. I know his plans are best for my life, better than I could ever dream or want for myself.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart  and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones Proverbs 3:5-8

Formulate opinions based on truth

I’m constantly being inundated with opinions not based on a biblical worldview. Social media shows a never-ending stream of what I should look like, aspire to or accept. I despise this.

It is so important to surround myself with the truth. Practically for me, this means, avoiding movies with blatant sex scenes, listening to music that talks about sex or other inappropriate content. I try to make it a priority to surround myself with images and messages that proclaim a biblical worldview.

I strive to set high standards in order to prevent my mind from drifting to thoughts and places it shouldn’t. One reason I don’t like watching romantic movies, reading novels that focus explicitly on romance or listening to songs about relationships is that this breeds discontent. I don’t want to let myself focus on what I can’t or don’t have now. I’d rather concentrate on my present circumstances and be thankful for what is going on now. I want to aim to enjoy today without worrying about the future or what could be.


Discontentment begins in the mind, with one thought of “I wish…” or “why can’t my life be like…”. I want to leave you with a challenge you to change your thought pattern. I’ve found it really helpful to memorize the following verse and repeat it to myself when my mind begins to wander into ‘what if’ land. If my thoughts don’t fit into the admonition below I know this is something I should not be dwelling on. Also, another great verse to remember if you’re having trouble curbing your thoughts is 2 Corinthians 10:5.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Maybe you really are content with your station in life at the moment. A lot of times I feel like I am trying to persuade those around me that I really am okay with not having a boyfriend. #relationships #dating #singleness