4 Ways To Stay Connected with Your Husband After Having a Baby

Becoming a mother has been a transformative experience. I can live on a lot less sleep than I thought, I can be awoken from the deepest of sleep if I hear my baby stirring and I care much less about my needs or wants now that I have this little life depending on me.

However, it can be easy for me to get so caught up in baby care, especially during the newborn weeks that my husband can take a backseat. Of course, this isn’t intentional but her needs often take priority during this season of life. Now that my baby is just over five months and we are more settled into our parenting roles this is the advice I would give to a new mom who desires to keep her marriage healthy while navigating into parenthood.

1. Know Your Love Language and ASK FOR IT

A lot of the time we are told to know our partners love language so we can love them better. I agree it is important to study your spouse and learn how to fill their love tank. However, when you are postpartum and sleep deprived it’s so important to take care of yourself so that you, in turn, can care for others.

Personally, my love language is physical touch. For me, I need at least 20 seconds of a good, cuddly hug from my husband. After that, I feel so energized, cherished and taken care of. Instead of expecting my husband to read my mind when I’m feeling down I will ask or tell him I need a hug.

If you don’t know your love language take this quiz and don’t be afraid to ask for what you need to help you be the best version of yourself for your family.

2. Get Creative With Date Night

Pre-baby date nights were easy. We could stay out late and be spontaneous. Post-baby we’ve had to make a few adjustments. Such as bringing our baby to dinner with us, eating out on a less busy night like Sunday and bringing my nursing cover. As long as we don’t stay out too long, our baby has done great whenever we’ve gone out to eat.

Another option for date night is having your hubby run out to grab a pizza (feta, pineapple, peppers and buffalo chicken was a recent favourite) and then watching a movie after your baby is in bed.

Date night can be tricky with a new baby but it’s not impossible to set aside time for just you and your hubby. Even if the baby has to tag along with you it is important to have intentional couple time.

3. Check in with Your Hubby

One thing that helps me feel connected to my husband is our chats before bed. This doesn’t happen every night because he works continental shifts where he works nights sometimes. However, we often catch up when he gets home.

If we don’t see each other at night we will text throughout the day. I try to be intentional to encourage my husband. I thank him for working hard for our family or I’ll send him pictures of our baby.

4. Affirm Actions You Appreciate in Your Husband

Along with encouraging my husband, I try to notice the things he does well and point them out to him. When we magnify positive attributes in our husbands they are more likely to keep doing those things. If your hubby is really good at responding to your baby’s needs or comforting her be sure to point this out to him.

Positive affirmation is rewarding and people will keep doing things they are appreciated for. Refrain from criticizing and try to speak about the good your husband is doing instead.

A new baby brings a lot of changes to a couple’s dynamic. It can be easy for both mom and dad to shift attention off of each other and onto the new bundle of joy. However, it is important to remember that the best thing you can do for your baby is to have a healthy and thriving relationship with your spouse.

The point is to not put pressure on yourselves, these are just suggestions you may not have thought of or already do. Either way, it’s important that you make an effort to care for your marriage.

Remember staying connected doesn’t have to include a formal or scheduled date night. It just takes remembering to communicate with your spouse, telling them what you need to feel loved, affirming what they are doing well and making time to do things you enjoy together with or around your baby’s schedule.

 

5 Ways to Stay Strong Mentally as a Mom

As a mom or really anyone leading a busy life, it can be easy to get overwhelmed by one’s present circumstances. Maybe you feel stuck or like things will never change or improve. I feel these same feelings all the time.

However, a goal I have for this year is to overcome my mental outlook and instead of being lead by my feelings into despair and sadness I’m working on telling myself how to feel.

My daughter is a great source of joy and I find myself choosing to be happy for her instead of moping around feeling sad or discouraged. She deserves to be happy and I want her to feel secure and loved despite how I’m feeling on the inside.

Along with her motivating me to choose joy here are 5 more methods I implement on a daily basis to stay strong mentally.

1. Listen to uplifting podcasts

Do you listen to podcasts? If so leave me a comment with your favourites down below. If not, why?

Podcasts are super popular right now. There are podcasts for every topic, hobby or interest.

A few of my favourites that keep me motivated, informed and encouraged are The Happy Hour with Jamie Ivey, Risen Motherhood, Journey Woman, Surviving Sarah, Lighten Up with Melanie Dale, The Simple Show, The Lazy Genius, Business Wars, Tides of History, and The Popcast.

If you like to listen to podcasts on the go and don’t have an aux cord or built-in Bluetooth this is the adapter I use in my car. The last one we had was super cheap and broke. This one has worked great and is very easy to use.

Bluetooth Adapter

2. Play music

The simple of act of playing upbeat, positive music can instantly uplift your mood. I vacillate between using Spotify and YouTube to stream music. I do enjoy Spotify because of the ease of selecting a playlist to match my mood. YouTube is also nice because there aren’t as many ads.

Here is a kid-friendly playlist on Spotify:

3. Go Outside

I am a total homebody, I love being in my habitat and being productive. However, going for a simple walk with Lyla and listening to a podcast really helps shift my perspective to a more positive one. Never underestimate what a change of scenery can do for your mental state.

I live in a colder climate so most of the year it is not easy to get outside for a walk. I try to go out only if the temperature is above O Celcius and around 2 pm when it’s warmest out. When it’s too cold to be outside I like to walk around a large store and browse or the local mall.

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4. Run an Errand

As much as I love being at home 90% of the time, sometimes I need to get out. Whether it’s running to the post office or Walmart I always feel so much better when I get home. Plus it helps break up the day and Lyla usually naps in the car. It’s a win-win. I get time alone and the baby gets in a good nap.

5. Plan to be Social with Real People

Finally, as much as my introvert self would rather be a recluse I need real people. Even though I live far from some family I try to see them once a month. I also try to Skype with my friends.

Volunteer with Your Baby

It is also important to build a community where you live. To meet new people in your area consider volunteering for a cause you care about. For me, that is food skills and food insecurity. In the past, I have volunteered with Growing Chefs! and VON where I cooked with kids and prepared a low-cost meal for seniors. In this season of life, I’m caring for my daughter and cannot volunteer as frequently as I would like. However, I volunteer in our church’s nursery one Sunday a month. This allows me to socialize with other moms and make new friends.

Join a Local Moms Group

When I moved to my new neighbourhood one of the first things I did was a Facebook search for our neighbourhood moms group. The group is open to any moms wanting to join and each week they have a meet-up to socialize and chat.

Mom life or whatever tasks your life includes on the daily can be draining. I hope these simple ideas will help improve your mood and help you be your best for those around you.5 Ways to Stay Mentally Strong as a Mom

*affiliate link used

My Favourite Baby Products Newborn to 3 Months

Being a first-time mom I did a lot of research on what baby products to have ready for when Lyla arrived. However, you don’t really know what works until your baby is here. For our family, these products have worked well, were mostly inexpensive and made caring for a baby easier. A major goal I had when researching baby items was to find stuff we could get a lot of use out of and not have a ton of baby stuff to store later on.

Sleeping

Pack N’ Play


This was a non-negotiable item for us. I knew we’d get a lot of use out of it from the newborn stage right until she’s a toddler. Pack n’ play’s come from basic all the way to having nappers and change tables. I opted for a more basic pack n’ play with the bassinet as we have a change table with our crib and I wanted her to sleep in the bassinet portion beside our bed at night. I didn’t need the extra accessories taking up room in our small apartment.

Although the pack n play is a bit wide beside our bed I like that it’s a multi-use item and we won’t have to store a bassinet that she’ll outgrow in a few months.

Halo Swaddle Sleepsack


We received this from a friend and at first, I wasn’t sure how to use it. It’s basically a wearable blanket that zips over babies pyjama’s and then there is velcro to ensure a tight and easy swaddle. This was a great option to keep Lyla warm as she born during the late fall. It is also a safer option than a swaddle blanket because the armholes prevent the blanket from going over her head.

Swing


During my research, a lot of moms said a swing was a lifesaver during the first few months. I made sure to add this my registry. Thankfully my aunt gave us this Fisher Price one. It’s super soft, has a newborn insert, plays music and swings at 5 different speeds (although we’ve only used the first two speeds). She takes most of her naps during the day in the swing. Lyla loves how soft and cozy her swing feels.

4 in 1 Crib and Change Table

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When looking for a crib the first place I checked was Amazon as I didn’t want to spend a lot of money (my parents actually gifted us this crib). I showed my husband the various options and he immediately selected this 4 in 1 Portofino crib. It got great reviews and is comparable to more expensive cribs. I wasn’t sure at first that we even needed a change table (I’m kind of a minimalist). However, with both of us being on the tall side the height and convenience of this table is something I really appreciate. Plus it has big, easy to open drawers to store all her diapering supplies, sheets and other nursery items. It also converts to a toddler bed and eventually and double.

Clothing

Before having Lyla I didn’t really know what to dress a newborn in, so I Googled it. I discovered its best to avoid pants for the first bit because the waistband can irritate their umbilical cord. For the first few weeks we dressed her in a onesie (to keep warm) and newborn size pj’s from Carters.

Carter’s Pj’s

Baby Pajamas

We liked these Carter’s pj’s because they were super soft, cute, easy to buy and affordable. As I said these are all she wore until she fit into her 0-3 month clothes.

George white onesies

I love these basic Walmart onesies, they’re easy to get on and off. Although they do run a little on the larger size. She’s still wearing the newborn size at 2 and half months.

Bows

Baby Headband

When preparing for a little girl I wanted to get lots of bows! I scoured Etsy for cute handmaid bows from Canada. A darling shop called Little Luba in Saskatchewan stood out to me for their multipack of 3 bows. I chose red, white and pink after looking at the colours of her clothing. These bows are nice because they are simple and the band fits snug on her head but isn’t tight or rough.

Bath Time

Tub

Baby Bath
I know a lot of people don’t like baby tubs because they take up a lot of room. However, we don’t have a bathtub where we live right now so having this portable tub that we can fill has worked great for us. I like how it includes a hammock which supports them as a newborn all the way to having a seat for when they can sit up on their own. This is another item we will get a lot of use out of.

CeraVe Cream


Lyla struggled with a little bit of eczema on her tummy so our doctor recommended this cream to help prevent future outbreaks. So far it has worked really well to keep her skin hydrated and soft.

Toys

Kick and Play Piano


Lyla is still quite young so she doesn’t play with a lot of toys. However, she loves her kick and play piano gym. As she kicks the piano plays different songs and she can also bat at her toys. Its a perfect toy for this age as she is still lying mostly on her back. It also converts for tummy time as the toys can be moved the ground. The piano can also be used as she gets older and can sit up.

VTech Baby Lil’ Critters Moosical Beads


Lyla also loves to play with her cow. The bright lights and different music keep her entertained. I’ll often set her up in her swing with her cow while I’m making dinner and getting ready. She’s just getting to the stage where she can press the buttons. I also like that this toy is for birth and up.  I found out about this toy because it’s a best seller on Amazon.

Out of the House

Carseat Cover

Baby Carseat Cover

I absolutely love our Covered Goods 4 in one nursing cover. I use it to block the wind on the car seat when transporting Lyla. It keeps the light out as we drive or when the lights of a store are overstimulating her. Then when I need to nurse it’s lightweight and provides all around coverage. It’s especially convenient when eating out a restaurant and she needs to eat or while running errands.

Carseat Mirror

Baby Carseat Mirror

Another travel essential is a mirror to see the baby when driving. I love being able to look in my rearview mirror and see that Lyla is sleeping or just enjoying looking out the window. It gives me peace of mind especially when I’m running errands alone with her.


What are your favourite baby products? Let me know in the comments!

My Favourite Baby Essentials Newborn to Three Months


For more on my pregnancy and postpartum journey read:
1st Trimester Update
2nd Trimester Update (21W2D)
3rd Trimester Update
Everything No One Tells You About Your First Pregnancy (Part 1)
Everything No One Tells You About You’re First Pregnancy (Part 2)
Baby K’s Birth Story + Baby K’s Birth Story Part 2
Everything No One Told Me About Postpartum
What to Eat While Breastfeeding