Being newlyweds is one of the most exciting and fun times of one’s life. The first year is filled with lots of learning, many adjustments and hopefully happy memories.
Still being in the newlywed stage myself I understand the challenges other newlyweds may face. After talking to other newlyweds and those past this stage I have curated 10 Simple Things Newlyweds Can Do to Have a Great Marriage. Keep reading if you’re a newlywed or are looking for advice to share with a newlywed couple.
1. Leave and Cleave
As a married couple you are a new family. Now is the time to set boundaries with family, parents, kids and friends. Decide as a couple what this looks like in your relationship.
For example, choosing to put each other above everyone else (aside from God). Telling your spouse first about a new opportunity instead of your mom. Or going to your spouse when you have a hard decision to make. These are two easy ways to show your spouse they are number one.
Finally separate yourselves as a couple physically (leave home), emotionally and financially from others. If you aren’t ready to fully take this step then you may not be ready to get married. However, being married young and having some hard years are not going to break you. Struggle if you let it can strengthen your bond.
2. Sex should be awesome, if it’s not seek out help
A lot of newlyweds struggle with sex and it’s often not talked about openly. Know that if you are having issues you are not alone. One resource I highly recommend is the blog To Love Honor and Vacuum.
Along with the book The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex.
Finally, sex should never be used manipulatively. If it is that is a major red flag that must be
3. Counselling is a good thing, especially as a preventative measure
Premarital counselling is a must but don’t stop there. Marriage is a huge adjustment. There is no shame in going to to see a counsellor for a relationship check-in. If you take the time now to learn strategies for dealing with conflict and how to communicate well future problems will be less detrimental to the relationship.
4. Learn to love what your spouse loves
“There is something powerful about being willing to love something you wouldn’t normally love, for the sake of the person you love.”Audrey Roloff
If your spouse loves something (soccer, gaming, cars, reading) there is something you can find to love about it too. You may not be the best at it or understand it at first but if your willing to learn it can increase your intimacy.
5. Resolve conflict after a good night’s rest
Resolving conflict and repenting to your spouse is key to staying in love. However when both people are emotional and tired sleep is one tool that can help de-escalate the conflict. Taking time to think about the fight or writing down how you feel can provide clarity
Keep it between the two of you
Don’t involve other people in your conflict such as your parents. Instead, if you need help mediating the conflict seek out a counsellor.
Choose your battles
Not everything is worth bringing up. Or perhaps you need to lighten up on what’s bothering you. Either way pray about the situation before
Finally, remember you are on the same team. A tangible way to remember this while fighting is to hold
6. Enjoy just being Newlyweds
Soak up the moments of finally being married. Enjoy coming home to each other, sleeping in together, going away on the weekends, whatever just the two of you enjoy.
Life changes so fast and before you know it children will come, life gets busy and those sweet newlywed days are over.
7. Bless when you want to burden
Give each other grace or act selflessly when you want to be selfish.
“Grace is giving someone the opposite of what they deserve and every day you wake up and decide I’m going to be graceful to you”Rachel Hollis
Remember marriage is not 50/50. It’s not going to be fair. You will do more for your spouse than it seems they do for you. When they are being grouchy because they’re tired or stressed react with kindness and love. They won’t deserve it but that’s marriage. It’s learning to give when you don’t want to.
Also even though it’s
8. Get a King Size Bed
I was so surprised how many people suggested this. Responders noted you can cuddle in the middle or spread out and have your own space.
Plus when kids come along or snoring happens you’re not squished together.
9. Plan Now For Your Financial Future
Do you want to buy a house, does one parent want to stay home with the children, are you hoping to homeschool, are you going to need a new car?
Many people suggest learning to live on income now and save the other persons. That way if one parent would like to stay home or an emergency occurs it’s not a financial burden.
Also taking a finance course like Financial Peace University can be a great start to get on the same page about money. Remember money is one of the top factors in getting a divorce.
10. Pray Together
Pray together each day and share one thing you appreciate about each other from the day.
Resources for a thriving marriage: