I’m Scared to Have the Sex Talk with my Daughter One Day

Can anyone else relate to feeling nervous about the sex talk? With the Whole Story, there is no need to fear. 

I know I’m a long way off from having to answer any awkward questions about sex just yet. Still, the thought of navigating this tricky subject makes me nervous!

As I’ve gone through pregnancy and the closer I get to having my baby the reality of parenting sets in more each day: I am actually going to have to teach this child about life. Right now I’m super focused on preparing to keep her alive. However, I know the infant stage is short and beyond that, I’ll have to learn other practical parenting skills. Like knowing how to teach her about her body and answering the tough questions like “where do babies come from?” and “what’s a period?”.

As an avid learner and a lover of research, I’m always on the lookout for resources from more experienced parents and especially moms on the best approach to teach Baby K about subjects that I’m not sure how to best approach. For me, the sex talk, puberty and growing up are all subjects that seem just a little bit more intimidating than helping with a math problem or teaching manners.

Puberty Was the Worst

To be honest as a child puberty was the worst part of growing up. I couldn’t even say the word “bra” without cringing. Being the oldest girl in my family I had to go through all those awkward changes first. While my younger sister who had no reserve would bluntly ask me the most awkward and personal questions about what I was going through. I found the whole process embarrassing, unpleasant and not something I openly wanted to talk about (even with my mom).

Although I had a few conversations with my mom about puberty, I was also given a book on the changes my body would go through and of course I learned a few things at school. Other than that I kind of just figured things out on my own. I know I wasn’t the only one!

Often times our own parents didn’t receive adequate information, so how are they supposed to know what to tell us?

I’m sure you can relate to not loving puberty and dreading having the “talk” with your own children. It’s not a subject that everyone feels super comfortable broaching.

The Whole Story Can Help

Thankfully things can be different! Plus they don’t have to be awkward either. What if you could approach talking about sex, puberty and growing up with your daughter in a way that is fun and low stress?

Perhaps you’ve heard of popular marriage blogger and speaker Sheila Wray Gregoire from to Love, Honour and Vacuum? I’m excited to share that she has launched a course led by her two daughters (who are the same age as me and my sister) all about puberty, sex and growing up. It’s called the Whole Story: Not-so-scary talks about Sex, Puberty, and Growing Up and it’s an online video course for moms and daughters to learn about puberty, sex and growing up. As followup moms can use the discussion questions to keep the conversation going.

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My favourite part of this course is that it doesn’t replace the mom’s role. Instead, it starts the conversation you may be fearing in a way that is fun, relatable and safe! Plus each video is only 3-5 minutes long.

Let’s face it our kids are going to hear stuff about sex from their friends, school, and the media. Shouldn’t we be proactive and make sure their primary source of information is us as parents? I know that if Baby K ever has any questions about sex or her body I would want her to come to me first. I don’t want her to receive confusing or misinformed information. Instead, I want her to feel comfortable about her body and confident in bringing me her questions.

I may not know where to start in talking about puberty with my daughter when the time comes, but I’m glad to have The Whole Story as a starting point. I wish I’d had something similar available when I was growing up!

The Whole Story: Sex Talk Resource
I also love that the course includes two versions: one for 10-12-year-olds and one for 13-15-year-olds. These age groups have different needs. Younger girls need factual, practical information whereas teens need to discuss and understand the more emotionally driven and nuanced topics like porn, masturbation, and dating.

The younger version covers:

    • her period
  • body changes
  • sex and how babies are made
  • boys and peer pressure
  • taking care of her body

The older version covers:

    • troubleshooting issues with her period
  • relationships with guys
  • how to handle social issues like online bullying, peer pressure, friends
  • honouring God while living in a highly sexualized world
  • styling yourself in a way that sends a positive message

If you’re ready to start the conversation about puberty, sex and growing up with your daughter in a way that is fun, low stress and way less awkward than when we had the talk check out the Whole Story!

Do you have any awkward experiences of going through puberty? 

What do you wish would have gone differently for you when learning about puberty, sex and growing up?


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13 Replies to “I’m Scared to Have the Sex Talk with my Daughter One Day”

  1. Wow you are thinking ahead! 😊 I remember asking my girlfriends what/when they told their daughters about puberty.
    I’m glad you are doing research..maybe I’ll look it over and learn a few things for myself. We all need to keep learning. I’m sure you will do great⚘

  2. I’m nervous also, especially with how sexualized everything is these days, and only getting worse. To love, honour and vacuum is a wonderful site, I’ve read posts multiple times. Thank you for sharing the links, I will be looking into them.

    1. Exactly! Kids are exposed to so much before they can really understand what they are seeing.
      My pleasure, I really like how the course breaks things down into short videos and then allows the parent to provide their opinion on the topics covered.

  3. I’m so nervous about this too! My hope is that I live and talk to her in such a way that it’s not one big scary talk, but a continuation of the openness I’ve always shown. This course sounds like an awesome tool for breaking the ice and continuing the conversation!

  4. This sounds like a great resource! I don’t have kids and I don’t know if/when I’ll ever have kids (it’s not something I ever felt led to do in my life). My guess I’d be scared to have that chat, too, however I think it’s something that parents shouldn’t be afraid to talk about with their kids at all. In some ways, it might make it more awkward for the child, if they pick up on their parents apprehension. This program sounds like it’s a great starting place to hopefully ease that anxiety for parents and allow for better conversation when the time comes.

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