Why Marriage is Hard but Still Good Newlywed Reflections~Month 4

To read the rest of this series click here: Newlywed Reflections

I love being married; it’s something I’ve desired for a very long time. At the same time, I am very cognizant of this great privilege I have been bestowed at a somewhat young age. Marriage is the most incredible gift, it’s a deeply intimate relationship different from all others that were chosen to represent Christ and His church.

Why Marriage is Hard but Still Good

Marriage is not a perfect always-pleasant relationship (as with anything in this life). Marriage is a refining process and sometimes it’s hard. 

“Hard is not the same thing as bad”

Abbie at M is for Mama

Intimate relationships refine us

The intimate nature of the relationship allows one to be deeply known and this includes the imperfect, insecure parts. When one is deeply known and understood there is an opportunity for growth and change. One is challenged and encouraged by their spouse. Unless one develops a closed heart when faced with criticism and honesty.

To be clear I’m writing from a perspective where the truth is spoken in love, is biblical and is without malicious intent. I wouldn’t necessarily choose to be challenged at such a personal level because it’s uncomfortable, difficult, discouraging and hard at times. It doesn’t feel good.

Deep down I’m thankful to be challenged because without intimate relationships in my life who is going to ask me the tough questions or bring up things I need to work on.

Although I may realize these things on my own, I need accountability and support from others. God uses our relationships with other humans to refine us. Part of His plan for marriage is to sanctify us, to make us more like Him. A spouse is an integral part of that process.

Marriage is not always blissful

Marriage is more than I could have ever asked for or expected. At the same time, it’s not always easy or blissful. It reveals your true self but it also provides an avenue to become your best self.

Although I’m talking specifically about marriage this can be applied to any relationship where individuals allow themselves to be known by another. This can be a mentor, a friend or family member. Overall it’s important to cultivate community and relationships where one allows themselves to be challenged and “sharpened”.

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another

Proverbs 27:17

Click here to read: Newlywed Reflections~Month 3: Why You Should be Willing to Love What Your Spouse Loves 


Newlywed Reflections~Month 6: How I Learned to Cherish Each Moment Through Loss and Uncertainty 


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Photography: Camille Marie Photography

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